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Kane Nobuhiro
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Please Take Note.
 People don't keep journals for themselves. They keep them for other people, like a secret they don't want to tell, but they want everyone to know. I don't own any of these pictures unless I state them. All photos and quotes on this blog are the properties of the respectful owners.Anyone wishing for their works to be credited please contact me via formspring or the tagboard itself. thank you.  |
posted on Tuesday, February 12, 2013 @ 10:07 PM | back to the top.
I'm all smiles now.
Finally, rainbows after the rain.
=) Am just glad the torture is finally over. For now. Not going to promise that it will never happen again, since nothing has really been talked about, yet. I will still wanna talk it out just so we can avoid such arguments in the future. But really, I thank Allah you're finally back in my arms. Rindu banget! posted on Monday, February 11, 2013 @ 5:13 PM | back to the top.
When I was your man
I thought the days are gonna get better now, but I was wrong. In fact, I think everything's done and dusted now. And I dont like whatever I am feeling right now. The feeling that you have finally gave up. Why? Why? Why? I just dont know what else I should do now. Trembling with fear, without knowing what step I should take, is this finally it? Please. If you really think you have enough of us, tell me. I'll take it like a man. I'd been through shits worse than this in the past. If this is indeed the end, I will have to start erasing all memories we shared together. Yes, including all these pictures we took in the phone. I'm sorry I did not do enough to be a better man for you. If you think being apart would be a happier choice for you, you'll have my blessings..
" Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made
And it hunts me everytime I close my eyes... "
posted on @ 2:32 AM | back to the top.
Patience is key
Today was just as boring as yesterday and the past few days. Nothing new huh? Well, went out to Causeway Point to check out some stuffs and it didnt help that most of the shops are closed. For a moment I thought Woodlands was being attacked by a zombie apocalypse. Dinner at KFC followed, and that literally sums up my day. And then, this happened...  Finally, your text message came. I was so happy and angry, yet excited at the same time when the irritating text notification sounded. Happy because, my prayers were finally answered. Angered. because it took such a long time for you to finally text me. Tak miss orang ke ah?! heh. Lucky enough I did not break down or stuffs in front of the bros. This time, I replied. Well, I told myself that I should just put my ego aside and reply you the next time your msg comes in, precisely why I was like waiting day by day for your text. Eeeeee geram jee. And then, you kept quiet. No reply from you. But its okay, it is already comforting enough to know I came across your mind that you had to text me. Pls do know I have always been waiting for your call or text every single day ever since we separated. But please, the next time you feel like texting, takmo tunggu lama lama please? And God, thank you for this. I appreciate it. Goodnight earthlings. posted on Sunday, February 10, 2013 @ 1:24 AM | back to the top.
The best make up.. is a smile
So... the whole day today was boring to the core. I rot myself in my room the whole day since I did not have any plan for the day. Good thing Arep was free; We met around my area to lepak, and then Ilah joined in after her work. Well, it was okay. It beats doing nothing at home all day.  If I had a choice, I would rather spend my day, with you. I swear that's the only thing I want so much in my life now. Urghh. I don't know what else I should do, other than keeping still to my phone hoping you'll text me or something. It's okay, I guess. I should just stay cool and pretend everything's good. In front of you, or the friends. Yup, thats it. Smile, it definitely will help to mask the pain. Here's hoping you're doing good over there alright.  posted on Saturday, February 9, 2013 @ 3:32 PM | back to the top.
Teman Pengganti
Got hooked to this song ever since campmate introduced it to me. posted on @ 3:09 AM | back to the top.
day 11
It definitely feels good to be back blogging again...I finally found some place to let everything out to ease this aching heart and mind. I wouldnt want to be ranting it out on my twitter page nor on my facebook page, lest people would think I needed attention. If anyone happens to chance upon this dusty blog of mine, i welcome you to read my posts, and do know whatever I post is what I needed to let it all out. I want you to know, that this past 11 days and counting has been a difficult moment for me just as much as you. I'd been waiting hopelessly for you to at least showed me that you still cared about me, about us. So you can probably imagined how I'd felt when you gave me that one text wishing me goodnight and that you missed me. I got to admit, I so wanted to reply to you and tell you how badly I miss you, yet ego stopped me from doing so. I thought that if i gave in (again), we could or might have been back together again, but really, would that have prevented us from the same issues that has become our stumbling block in the future? I dont think so. I wished you would understand why am I so adamant or dissaprove to your decision, I wished you would feel what I have felt.. Like what I said, I hope you will have to go through what I had with 'em so you will understand what it is like being me. On my part, I regretted saying its over at that night. I should have controlled my emotions better. Maybe, things would have turned out differently. And now, Im stuck with these uneasy & uncontrollable emotions every single day & night, longing for you to be back in my arms. Please do not give up on us. I still love you. I still love us. 
Allah, please keep her safe sound.
posted on Friday, February 8, 2013 @ 6:47 PM | back to the top.
I need her.
You will never know just how much I love you.
Please come back.
posted on Saturday, February 25, 2012 @ 5:54 PM | back to the top.
Worst Nightmare
I am just thankful that I am still able to live to see another day. Like what ayah says, "ni sikit je Tuhan kasi nak tunjuk." Thinking back, I am very very lucky that I only suffered minor injuries, knowing that I fell off from the bike, hit my head on the big scary-looking bus by my side, and went under it, It was a lucky thing I push myself out from underneath the bus, I could see nothing but I knew I just had to get out from there as fast as possible because the bus is still moving.I dont really want to think what really happened yesterday, because yes, I am still traumatized by the whole accident. It taught me one thing, that I could have been killed yesterday by the bus, or even from the approaching cars as i lay down there in pain. I'm just too weak to do anything now, all i know now is that I need to recover fast, get back to work as soon as possible, so i can have the money to repair my bike. That's all. Mama scolded me and cried saying why I didnt tell her I had an accident. Yesterday night was the first time I felt how much she really love her chilld, waking up in the morning to change my dressings and to apply oil on my wounds, feeding me medicines. That was when she say to me with eyes tearing up," Naseb baik takde pape terjadi kat abang. Arwah Nyail kau (her younger brother, my uncle) meninggal pasal accident motor same tarikh, bulan kau accident semalam.. Friends, thank you for the concern you all. I am okay, no really major injuries just cut and bruises on my left face, hand, and knees. Other than that, I am fine. I'm sorry that I didnt pickup or reply to anyone anyone of you; I am still shocked by the accident to do nothing except lying down on my bed. Really, thanks for the concern everyone. Just pray that I will recover sooner rather than later alright. thank you. posted on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 @ 6:22 PM | back to the top.
Symbol of the love. Our love story .
" At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone, and just walk away. It's not like you are giving up, and it's not like you did not try. It's just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours will eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be. " Have you ever wondered about the things we tell ourselves before we sleep? We whisper the words in the dark, telling ourselves that we're happy, or that he/she is happy, that people will eventually change their minds. We try to feel better by reminding ourselves that we can live without the people that have left. Each night before we fall asleep, we lie to ourselves in the hope that comes morning, it will all be true... posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 @ 7:08 PM | back to the top.
Ajal & Maut, Allah Yang Tentukan.
 Dad, what if i have to go for dialysis in the future? Mum, what if I needed a minor operation? Would you be angry with me for these expensive treatments? Everyone will leave this world eventually, and that I am pretty sure of. It's just a matter of when that will be. All I know is that I am not ready to face Allah yet, and also for the fact that I have not really repaid both ayah and mama countless efforts in bringing their two child up. Y'know, I want to be just like any other male persons out there; Growing up and facing countless life's hurdles, having a stable job with a stable income, able to have a house of my own with both my own family and parents living together, going back home after work for dinner with the whole family. I want to feel how it feels like having big responsibilities on my shoulders. And I long for the day I can finally tell mama & ayah that its time for them to have their deserved break and let their only son take care of them. Maybe I'm just thinking too much into it. Maybe I'm being to far-fetched into predicting what will happen in the near future, just like what ayah says. But I know, we both know, something even much more worse is bound to happen if it's not treated now. Its a fact I really cannot deny. This pain has been niggling on for the past one week and it's not getting any better. I have made up my mind to go and have a visit to the family doctor tomorrow, if the pain is still unbearable. Just like how it is right now, at this very minute. And from there, I will find out more. Regardless of whatever the condition is, if it needs be that I have to go for any sort of minor operation or even further specialist check ups, I would flatly and immediately reject that idea. Yes, I am that scared to go for an op, however minor it will be. And also, I just do not want to waste any more of ayah & mama money. I have troubled them enough throughout my 21 years of life already. Well, we all will eventually die don't we? Let's just accept it. ('= |
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