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Kane Nobuhiro
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Please Take Note.
 People don't keep journals for themselves. They keep them for other people, like a secret they don't want to tell, but they want everyone to know. I don't own any of these pictures unless I state them. All photos and quotes on this blog are the properties of the respectful owners.Anyone wishing for their works to be credited please contact me via formspring or the tagboard itself. thank you. |
posted on Thursday, June 30, 2011 @ 10:23 PM | back to the top.
busy week ahead.
So UT1 finally just ended like only last week, and UT2's gonna begin the next week. =________________________= Sometimes I just don't understand why RP's system can be so mean to us student at times. Well, most of the times. And I came across a video which to me is the perfect solution to urmmm... cheat through the UT! *check kiri, check kanan, then kiri lagy* Here's how! Yeah, that's right. I got the same reaction as you the first time I watched it. That aside, I guess life has been pretty much like a rollercoaster ride for me. I have learnt a hell lot of stuffs the past few weeks or so. Whatever there are, I shall have to focus on what I do best and keep reminding myself never to be bothered by things that make me feel unhappy, and to just concentrate on matters that make me smile instead.  I felt special.. Until I saw you talking to everyone like that. It's not very hard to sacrifice everything for someone, you see. The hard part is to find that someone who deserve your sacrifice. Well, what else can I say? This is life. So i just got to suck it in and go through it every single day, right in front of my own eye. Goodmorning July. hope it'll be a month full of laughters and happiness. InsyaAllah. posted on Saturday, June 25, 2011 @ 12:00 AM | back to the top.
jar of hearts.
 Happy 17th birthday friend! It's your special day today, hope you'll enjoy your day today together with your loved ones. All the best for your future endeavours alright. (= Sorry I could not get any gifts for your birthday, So I'll prolly thought the least I should do is to wish you through this space of mine right here. And for the final time, goodnight to you. posted on Friday, June 24, 2011 @ 11:11 PM | back to the top.
chapter's closed.
'At some point of time you will realize that you have done do much for someone,that the only next possible step you should take, is to stop.Leave them alone. Let them be. Walk away from them. It's not giving up, nope. It's not like you shouldn't try, never.It's just meant that it has come to a point where you have to draw the line between determination and desperation. What is truly yours will eventually be yours. And what is not, no matter how hard you try, it will never be...' It's time for me to turn over the page of my life story. posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2011 @ 11:39 PM | back to the top.
Remember me?
Remember me? I used to your favourite hello, your hardest goodbye. I used to be the person you wanted to talk to the most and miss if you didn't get to see or talk to me. I used to be someone you looked forward after break. I used to be the person you wished to see me smile when I'm down and I used to be the person to make you smile by my silly antics. Yeah, I used to be that person. Do you still remember me? And right at this moment, I miss two very important people in my life. One who used to be, and one who I still care for. Hope they're all doing great, wherever they are right now. And oh, its the 23rd today? posted on Tuesday, June 21, 2011 @ 10:36 PM | back to the top.
jom bentang cerite. nak?
Are you mad because what I say is an insult to you, or are you mad that I'm speaking the truth? First thing first, let me say I was actualy wondering why all that even happened. Because on my part, I really thought it was settled there and then and everything was cleared. But now, everything seemed clear now. So yup, I'm here once again to rectify every single misunderstandings and I wish to put a stop to this. Okay, I think I might type in a mixture of both english and malay. So, please excuse me. (: First of all, let me repeat myself time and again that this blog of mine here is my one and only outlet for me to express every single emotions that I may have. And i repeat time and again, I am aware that people do read my blog, so I am mindful of choosing my words and not to mention names for the fact that i don't want to get into trouble with anyone here. It could be any Tom, Dick or Harry which I'm referring to about, isnt it? no? Okay, let's be upfront here. I know very well that you WILL be reading this post again, but again I will never mention names for the fact that, others will read as well and I do not want the rest to get involved in this. Diorang sumer boleh cakap, pikir, rase ape diorang nak.. but I would prefer to have this one way topic, about you and me, without involving the rest of them. Next point, Kutuk? Alright. Tell me which ever part of my sentence is an insult to you. the title? Well, I really feel it that way. Like come on, both of us are adults, in the same company, and yet we're having these online arguments about something we both love? perangai kau, perangai aku. samer. tak boleh dinafikan. Next point, kenape tak letak kat fb? come on, which means to say, everything boleh diselesai kalau aku tulis the exact same sentence, word for word dekat fb? Fb, where eveeeeeeeery single people boleh bace, boleh menilai, and wonder whether kite duer orang ni ade masalah with each other? Sorry, thats not the way. And referring back to the first point, part mane kau rase aku mengutuk ? Third point, about that particular sentence which u said something about me wanting to take over. You know, aku sememang memangnye, kalau boleh nak copy that sentence down, but again like i say, aku taknak. pasal ape? pasal orang lain pun bace blog ni. so, kalau aku tulis.. confirm2 dorang sumer dah tawu betol? so aku wont. but Im pretty sure you're clever enough to understand which sentence im referring to. So..... okay. Like ape yang kiter bertige dah berbual habes habes-an, dah discuss, dah decide dah settle. aku dah cakap time and time again, yang aku tak pasal kalau kau wants to be the one to lead. All im asking from the 3 of us, is that we decided on matters which requires our experience. Aku still believe that having this kind of system would actually work, if and i say if, we work together. Sumpah kawan, aku bukan nak tunjuk pandai dan aku bukan sikap orang yang giler pangkat okay. Besides, we have decide yesterday, isnt it? even YOU yourself agreed to this agreement together. So, why then did you have to comment that way, as if I wanted everything to myself? Ni part aku tak paham, seriously. Another point, cakap macam mane punye cakap, aku am still standing to what my own judgements. Yes, aku believe that I am better than you. I said that straight to your face. But never have I mentioned that I would be better at managing than you. Back to my point, dari kiter berperang gini macam, why cant we just work together, for the benefit of the rest. Yes, kau lagy lamer. but what does it prove? so, being in the arena for a longer period of time than me means something? Okay, i do not want to even quarrel with you about this. let's talk about thing that you're unhappy with me. kau kecik hati ker, biler aku cakap aku lagi bagus dari kau pasal tu? Fine, let's prove it together. back in our own company. have that same level of passion you have for ours just like how kau bersungguh2 untuk menaikkan dorang2 nih. Another point even before kau akan shoot back, the reason why aku choose to 'reply' to kau through here is because aku tak nak bende ni dibesar2kan, diheboh2kan. what initialy started off as a matter between the 3 of us, I am pretty sure that now everyone else knows about this. Let's not lie to ourselves okay. Its all up to you really, if you want to make a big fuss about everything.. sekirenye sampai jugaq ke telinger aku nih yang aku ni gilerkan name, kuasa ataupun pangkat, aku will talk it out with them. The whole lot of you, knows only one side of the story. so dont be too quick to judge me. Lagy sekali aku cakap, aku tulis kat sini dan bukan di fb, bukan kerana aku nak bitch pasal kau (note that i have never for once sworn at all for any of the posts relating to this.), pasal aku nak kutuk kau, bukan pasal aku ni jantan kelepeh tak tao nak upfront berbual ngan kau ke pe. Tapi because of one reason only, pasal ni bende. antara kau dan aku. aku taknak sape2 yang ade kene mengene dengan hal ni, tahu tentang masalah yang kiter due ade waktu ni, and settle it within kiter. I can choose to call you to talk it out, but i dont think kau will ever want to talk again. So, since you want it to be that way, i accept it. so, here i am, ranting it out here on my space and let everyone else wonder who the hell am i blabbering about. Don't worry macha, you have my promise that sape2 yang tanye pasal ni, aku tkkan kecoh2 kan, unless you want it otherwise. sekian. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Panjang jugak aku membebel. Well, honestly speaking, i am equally angry and sad right now. Angry because... niat benar aku disalah anggap orang, sekarang sume orang akan pikir yang aku nih hidung tinggi. Bertahun2 aku bergiat, tak pernah aku ade masalah macam gini. and coming it from the one you least thought would happen, it feels suckish, serious. And Im sad as well, because of two egoistic people who wants their own way of doing things, neither of them can come to a decision, and at the end of the day, we are no longer friends. That, to me is really saddening. Samer2 minat, samer2 nakkan yang terbaik, but this had to happen. Fine, kalau kau dah tak anggap aku sebagai kawan, aku terime. Aku janji kau, selepas ni aku akan berbual dengan orang berkuasa tentang ni, see how things can be solved, and if we all agree that aku yang punca masalah korang yang selame ni tak pernah pun ade masalah, seperti mane korang cakap.. I will take a step back. Sekirenye ape aku tulis atau cakap terguris hati kau, aku mintak maaf. posted on Monday, June 20, 2011 @ 11:58 PM | back to the top.
perangai kunik.
I knew this would happen eventually, and true enough it did. (= I proved my point, and I'll stand by my own judgement. Go ahead if you wanna bitch about me to the rest, 'cause I didnt plan to be the nice guy here by the way. You can say anything and everything you want about me, but don't you dare talk to me about this passion I'm in love with ever since forever. 'Cause you are in no level whatsoever to be guiding me. I have said my piece there and then. Kalau nak merajuk, pujok sendiri. Kalau nak mengamok, pergi panggil Amuk. ^_^(Y) Gave you a choice, either we'll work together.. or I'll do my very best to bring them up all by myself. That aside, I have already decided. Gonna teach the boys this song when I'll have the time, InsyaAllah. Super nice, the song very the feeling i tell you. Don't you think so? (= Cannot wait to jam with 'em all! posted on Saturday, June 18, 2011 @ 11:59 PM | back to the top.
where'd that girl go?
 You have no idea how hard it is to force myself to stop thinking about you, sometimes. The silence on your part really sucks. Just thought you should know. )= posted on Friday, June 17, 2011 @ 9:43 AM | back to the top.
mixed up.
 When it's the worst feeling in the world to love and hate at the same time. When it's hard to watch things change when all I want is for them to stay the same. When it's funny how I want everything and nothing at the same time. When it's crazy I feel like letting go, but I keep holding on. And when I want to move on, but again I'm stucked to where I started. When feelings change, and I do not know what I really want. When I have so many things to say but do not know where to start. When I want her to be close to my life, but all I can do is to push her farther and farther away. When it's hard to think back how things used to be, and realised it wont never ever be the same again. I keep telling myself it's not going to be worth it. But if it really didnt, then why am I spending so much time thinking about it? I miss you. posted on Monday, June 13, 2011 @ 10:50 PM | back to the top.
masih mampu bersenyum lagy.
Should I smile because you're my friend... Or cry because that's all we'll ever be? It hurts to love someone when I can't tell her what I really feel because sometimes I get hurt without her knowing. I get jealous even if I have no right to feel that way. I want her time even if I am not in the position to demand for it. Although the heart is breaking in silence, I'd still continue to love her because somehow in this hurtful love there is still hope of having those beautiful moments with her again, just her and me. Thats why it's easier for me to pretend rather than face my own feelings. Sometimes it's easier to try to make it alone than risk getting hurt. Sometimes I find it way much easier to be numb towards certain people, so I won't let them get too close. Sometimes I get scared, but when I act numb towards you, it does not really mean I don't care. It just means I care too much. And look at the mess I am in now. I thought it would get better if I just pretend, but little did I expect things to turn out this way. It's really tiring having to smile and pretend I'm cool with things between us, when it's actually eating me slowly deep inside. I'll stay on for as long as I can take it within myself. But when the time has come for me to end it, I'll stop every single thing. As for now, let's continue with the pretence. shall we? posted on Saturday, June 11, 2011 @ 12:07 AM | back to the top.
a million thoughts.
' Anyone can easily walk away from somebody else. Nobody is forced to stay; We all have choices. But the real test is if someone would rather stay with you, even though walking away would be so much easier.... ' 'Nuff said. Let the music speak what ii feel. posted on Monday, June 6, 2011 @ 9:37 PM | back to the top.
jika hati jatuh cinta.
At this point of time, I feel so lost. I don't understand why I'm experiencing this suckish feeling I'm having. How can this even be possible? one moment I feel like I'm the happiest dude alive, and the next moment I feel so down and out? And why must I get trapped within my own feelings? I sweared never to get involved with this game anymore, hellyeah I never did want to go into this path ever again. But what can I possibly do? And right now, I so feel I'm back to where I started again. Just because of a stupid decision made that I truly regret. Yes people can be egoistic much, I agree to that. I am. Everybody is. But to what extend? 'You can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel...' True much. I told myself to never set my eyes on anyone else. And then you came along. And it definitely felt good initially. Its like suddenly, I found a new purpose in life. There's just this extra bit of motivation for me to do the things I like, including the simple stuff like going to school. But then shit had to happen, as per always and everything's starting to fall apart now. Sometimes, I wish I was born heartless. Just so I wont have to care and experience the feeling of love, nor hate. But it's too late. I think I've fallen in love. Yes, I have to admit. I am in love with you. But then again, I really do not want to be in this shithole. Simply because I am scared. That fear of having to go through what I have had back in the past. No, not again please. Maybe that's why I feel so confused now. Of not knowing what I should do to even lose this feelings. Try as I might, I just can't stop caring. When I start to care, that's when it starts to hurt. True story. And why am syai even affected by it, when you're not even mine? haha, that's the part when I dont even understand myself. As far as what I know, it needs both parties for a relationship to work. It's not just about one party, never. It used to feel so right, but no longer. I enjoyed that bus journey home yesterday. Really. It's been such a long time since I felt so attached to someone, and I was hoping, admittingly, that something could work on from here. But then again, sigh. Biler orang nakkan syai, syai yang taknaq. Biler syai nak cuber bukakkan hati sekali lagi, ni bende mesti akan terjadi, macam mane cakap ni? Entah lah. Syai sedih sangat sangat. Ikutkan hati, memang ajer syai nak luahkan segala segala nyer, tapi aper guner? Right now I'm embracing myself for this silence which I knew could have been avoided if I just shut my mouth up and suck it in whatever you wanted to do. But I know the damage is done, and I will have to live with it. "Awak, if only you'll realise how much Syai is into you. Syai couldnt even see you straight in the face, because syai feels that everything has changed in the blink of an eye. Syai malu naq tengok awak, pasal syai ade hati kat awak. If our story has to come to an end this way, then fine I'll accept it. But before anything els, I need you to know that everything i have told you, is the complete truth. It's true when I said I had a crush on you the first time I saw you, but I'd brushed it off, thinking that it'll go away. But then a crush came to me having a liking for you, and that I'd always look forward to seeing you, every single time. That is a truth. And there was even a period of time where I purposely avoided you, and I told you everything I had to. That the reason was because I like you, and I have to do it before things start to get deeper. That too, is a truth awak. But you came and told me how you didnt want us to be avoiding each other and you see me as someone you feel comfortable with. Not wanting to risk the friendship that we've shared, I'd stop avoiding you altogether and we got closer ever since then. And now that we're close to each other, I'm starting to develop this serious feelings towars you. Yes, I am. Syai is pretty much in love with you. This too, is no joke." Maybe this is just a test from the One Above, I don't know. I just do not want to go through that emotional pain again, just because of a girl. Like how it was in the past. It's painful, it's tiring. If this silence meant it's time for me to take my leave, I will be the one stepping out of the door. And if that were to happen, at least now you know that this guy right here ever did love you before. Thank you for bringing me back up to my feet again, makcik sombong <3. I owe you my life. ('= the end. posted on Thursday, June 2, 2011 @ 6:02 PM | back to the top.
bezanya suka dan cinta.
by 'Hari-hari saya sayang awak, hari-hari saya tengok profile awak' (1) Di hadapan orang yang kita cinta, hati kita akan berdegup kencang. Tapi di hadapan orang yang kita suka, hati kita akan gembira. (2) Di hadapan orang yang kita cinta, musim sentiasa berbunga-bunga. Di depan orang yang kita suka, musim itu cuma berangin sahaja. (3) Jikalau kita lihat di dalam mata orang yang kita cinta, kita akan kaku. Tapi jika kita melihat ke dalam mata orang yang kita suka, kita akan tersenyum. (4) Di depan orang yang kita cinta, kita menjadi malu. Di depan orang yg kita suka, kita akan tunjukkan imej yang sebenar. (5) Di depan orang yang kita cinta, lidah kelu untuk berkata-kata. Di depan orang yang kita suka, kita akan bebas berkata apa saja. (6) Kita tidak akan merenung mata orang yang kita cinta. Tapi kita akan selalu merenung mata orang yang kita suka. (7) Bila orang yang kita cinta menangis, kita akan turut jua menangis. Bila orang yang kita suka menangis, kita akan cuba untuk membuat dia gembira. (8) Perasaan cinta bermula dari kata. Perasaan suka bermula dari telinga. Jadi, jikalau kita berhenti menyukai seseorang yang kita suka umpama kita membuang telinga kita. Tapi jika cuba menutup mata cinta berbuah menjadi airmata. Setiap orang yang hidup akan mengalami ini dalam hidup mereka. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Cinta, Sayang, Minat Dan Suka Cinta Kita memang mengharapkan dia menjadi milik kita. Segala apa yang kita buat, kalau buleh nak dia tahu.. dan kita sebuleh mungkin tak nak sakitkan hati dia. kita akan sentiasa berfikir tentang dirinya. (Cinta di tujukan kepada seseorang yg kita selalu ingat dan mimpi.. Tanpanya kita akan rasa sunyi dan kita cintakan sepenuh jiwa dengan hati yg ikhlas kepadanya walaupun dia buat tak tau .) Sayang Kita memerlukan dia di masa kita mahukan seseorang untuk berkongsi rahsia dan kisah duka kita. selalunya kita akan sayangkan seseorang yang menjadi TELINGA kepada masalah kita. ( sayang di tujukan kepada seseorang yang boleh membuangkan masa dia untuk mendengar dan memeningkan kepalanya dgn masalah kita dan kita jugak boleh menyakitkan hati dia kerana kita bukannya cinta kepadanya) Suka Kita sukakan dia kerana dia kelakar. Dia happy-go-lucky. Bila bersama dengan dia, kita rasa nak tergelak sampai nak pecah perut. Tapi, kita taklah rindu sangat kat dia bila tak berjumpa seminggu… ( suka di tujukan kepada seseorang yang boleh menjadi pelawak kepada kita. Kita akan suruh dia diam sekirangnya keng kita dah nak pecah…) Minat Apa sesuatu pada dirinya yang menarik kita untuk mendekatinya. (minat ditujukan kepada seseorang yang ada sifat, peribadi atau barang yang kita mahukan… ) Tetapi kita kena ingat bahawa tanpa minat , suka dan sayang kita tidak akan CINTA pada seseorang itu. --------------------------------------------------------------------- "Ya Allah Jika dia benar untukku Dekatkanlah hatinya dengan hatiku. Jika dia bukan milikku Damaikanlah hatiku Dengan ketentuan-Mu...." and I feel so lost now. Wtihout any clear directions, which way should ii go to? Confused. )'= |
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