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Kane Nobuhiro
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Please Take Note.
 People don't keep journals for themselves. They keep them for other people, like a secret they don't want to tell, but they want everyone to know. I don't own any of these pictures unless I state them. All photos and quotes on this blog are the properties of the respectful owners.Anyone wishing for their works to be credited please contact me via formspring or the tagboard itself. thank you. |
posted on Sunday, September 26, 2010 @ 1:08 AM | back to the top.
the only way
I'm gonna down all those pills that I have in my hands right now if that's the only way to end my misery. at most, I'll just have a serious headache right, no? we'll see. posted on Saturday, September 25, 2010 @ 12:57 PM | back to the top.
='(
dosa ker aku, kalau aku ter-nangis time aku tengah sembahyang? sah tak ibadah aku nih? someone can answer? thanks in advance. Tolong jangan buat sayer macam gini. Sayer maseh perlu awak dalam hidup sayer, shida.. posted on @ 12:14 AM | back to the top.
Saat Terakhir
Tak sedikit pun ku bayangkan Kau akan pergi tinggalkan ku sendiri Begitu sulit ku bayangkan Begitu sakit ku rasakan Kau akan pergi tinggalkan ku sendiri Dibawah batu nisan kini Kau t'lah sandarkan Kasi sayang mu begitu dalam Sungguh ku tak sanggup Ini terjadi kerna ku sangat cinta " Inilah saat terakhir ku melihat kamu Jatuh airmata ku menangis pilu Hanya mampu ucapkan Selamat jalan kasih " Satu jam saja ku telah bisa Cintai kamu kamu kamu di hatiku Namun bagiku melupakanmu Butuh waktu ku seumur hidup Satu jam saja ku telah bisa Sayangi kamu di hatiku Namun bagiku melupakanmu Butuh waktu ku seumur hidup Di nanti ku.. posted on Friday, September 24, 2010 @ 6:34 PM | back to the top.
how now brown cow?
It has only been one day, since you been gone. Only one day, and i feel so alone, no one by my side. How are you over there? Ikotkan hati, memang diri nih nak text, nak call untuk bertanye khabar. tangan nih dah beberape kali gatal nak picit number awak. But i did not, cause i could not. And i must not. Are you happy with how thing are now? why havent you been texting me? i thought, u said we can still text? ohmygod. i hate myself so much right now. I'm tired, my feet still hurts, my heart hurts, i wanna go out but i dont know to where. I vomitted blood for the first time in my life. please, awak. i really cannot live without you. I'll do anything to hear your voice right now. I miss you that bad. and God, why are you doing this to me? I'm going crazy right now. and i need some forms of distractions. anyone, help me. posted on @ 3:44 PM | back to the top.
i still need you.
I could not sleep the whole night yesterday. We had a quarrel the day before, and she said she had given up on us. That was why, I could not sleep thinking that she might really mean it this time round. and that was why i stayed up the whole night to do a self-reflection. I so wanted to correct everything, and i realised that it ws entirely my fault. I had already planned to meet her in the day, to seek for her forgiveness, and to save our relationship.12pm: Started on writing a letter. A letter which I wrote every single feelings that i had of her, accompanied by an apology at the end. I just do not know how im supposed to give it to her, cause i dont even think she'll need it, if she really is bent on giving up. But i thought, i'll just do my part, and the rest I'll leave it all up to her, whether she will want to read or not. 3pm: Took me 3 hours to finish writing a single letter. once I'm done, I texted her, though half-heartedly, cause I know she was in school, and I dont wanna disturb her. Nevertheless, i just texted her to say whether she would agree to my final request, to let me meet her for the last time. But, i knew the reason i wanted to meet her was that I wanted to pass her the letter, and for me to meet her personally to apologise, and to see whether do I still have a chance or not. Initially, she said no, cause she has dikir training. But i said I dont mind teman-ing her, and to walk her home, even if its for the last time. my text message to her was,"Tell you what. I'll just be at the taxi stand by 6pm, and I'll just wait for you there, until you come. it's up to you whether you wanna meet me or not kay. I'll just be there aniway." Done with that, I took my time to get ready and at exactly 5pm, I went out of the house. I didnt want to be late of course, since she said she's finishing school at 530pm. 545pm: Reached Sengkang, and I took my time to walk over at the taxi stand knowing that she might have just finished school. Once i reached the place, I sat at the corner of the stairs nearby, waiting patiently for her to arrive. 645pm: It was already close to an hour, and yet she is still nowhere to be seen. I was anxious cause I did not know whether has she arrived in Sengkang yet, or has she gone straight to her training place. I resisted on calling her, cause i have told myself not to. So, the only thing that I could do at that point of time was to continue waiting. I said to myself that if by 7pm, she is still not here, then I shall call kak Farah to ask whether she is already at the the training place or not. In the mean time, I continued to put whatever words that I had in mind together, so that I wont be at a lost if she really did came. 7pm: I had no choice but to call Kak farah, and asked. Thankfully, she picked up and she said that shida has not arrived yet. That cheered me up a bit, cause there was still a chance that I might get to meet her after all. Just as i put down the phone, well guess what, I didnt realise that she was already standing right there, in front of me, together with Carmel. 730pm: "Can i talk to you for a while?" "but im alreadly late for training." "then, can I talk while walking with you then? I wont go up to your training place, i promise." "ok.' There was complete silence for the first few minutes. I didnt know what to say, even though I have already planned everything out. After a few quick glances of her, and after composing myself, I said to her. "awak, awak maseh marah dekat sayer?" " i dont know " "awak maseh bingit pasal semalam ker?" "i dont know " "sayer tahu sayer salah, sayer nak mintak maaf kat awak skarang nih." and this was the part which broke my heart. "i know, i dah maafkan you. i pun harap you maafkan i. tapi my answer will still be the same, im giving up." sakit hati ni biler dengar dier cakap macam gitu. I knew she wanted to end this, but to be there with her and listening to her words in person, ya allah.. only god knows how I felt at that point of time. "jangan lah sampai gitu awak. sayer maseh sayangkan awak. awak dah tak sayang sayer ker?" " i still do. but im toning it down, to as a friend." I didnt realise that at this point, my tears already came out flowing, and I tried so hard to fight back, cause I really dont want her to see that I was crying. So, i kept talking to her in the hope that she would changed her mind. But she was adamant to call it quits this time round. and before i realised it, we were already close to her training place. that was it, i need to do something quick, cause its now or never. I stopped her from going, and we stopped for the moment to let me talk to her. " all i ask you is to give me one final chance, to prove to you that i'll change, for you, for us. please? " " i've given you lots of chances, but its still the same. we still fight every single day." " That's the part where I'm wrong. I realised it now. thats why im pleading for you to give me a chance. I will change, I can swear to you right now, please. anything, just dont walk away from me." Out of a sudden, she gave me a hug. I didnt know what that means, but it definitely was comforting, so i replied by putting my arms around her as well. then she said to me. " I have already forgiven you, syai. I hope you can forgive me as well, but im tired of all the fights. I have decided, and im sticking to it. Im sorry. we can still be friends kan, syai? we will still text each other. I will try to find a time to call you, okay? " I went down on my knees, upon hearing those words. she told me to get up, seemingly embarassed that people were watching. I couldnt, cause i dont have any more strength within me to do anything, let alone standing up. I was already tired at that point of time. she said she was alreadly late for training. I got back up, she salam-ed and walked away, before shouting to her that I am gonna wait for her at the same spot, until she has finished training. my heart breaks just looking at her walking further and further away from me, and she didnt even for once looked back. 830pm: I sat down at the same spot where she left me, thinking about what I was supposed to do right now, since i have already tried my best but still fail to change her mind. I was all alone by myself, and i wasnt in the right frame of mind to think rationally. I had even wished that a car would just... come speeding up towards me, and hitting me hard. Cause the place where i sat was at the kerb of a roadside, and there were vehicles going past me. so yeah. I really could not think of what to do next. 9pm: It has finally made sense to me that, it was of no use if she has really decided to call it quits. nak ker taknak, aku terpakse ikut kehendak dier. at that point of time, I know i have to let go of her. I Texted kak farah to tell shida that i'm still there waitng for her to finish training.then this was the reply, " cida cakap, suruh balek. dier dah taknak syai lagy." tell me, how was i supposed to feel upon getting this kind of reply? I kept quiet, at least i knew that she knew i was still waiting for her. 945pm: I saw the others slowly coming out, so i prolly guess that training was done. then suddenly, a text message came, from kak farah. " go home. i dont wanna talk to you. i am still sticking to my decision. this is my closure, im sorry." " i know, shida. im not asking you for anything else now. dah alang2 syai maseh kat sini. can i please walk you home, for the last time? " this text reply really hurts me. "well, i guess.. there's no harm for a friend to send me home." she came to me shortly after, and i walked just a little bit behind, cause i do not want her to catch me looking at her. that walk has to be surely the saddest part of all. so much memories. We used to hold hands while walking back. now we don't. We used to laugh and joke with each other along the way, now we didnt even talk. I kept looking back; is this really the last time im able to do all this? I walked extra slow upon nearing to Sengkang bus interchange, cause honestly i would not want to see her go. We waited for her bus 87 to arrive, while i was busy looking for the bus, hoping that it would never come at all. impossible, i know. We didnt really talked much, just standing there side by side. my heart was beating faster and faster, knowing that the bus will come soon. well then the bus finally came. she gave me one final hug, before saying "baik-baik jalan." I couldnt bear to look a her straight in the eye, i gave her a half-hearted smile, and she proceeded on to board the bus, knowing that this might be the last ever time i hear from her. And then i didnt know why, but I actully followed my heart instinct to board the bus as well. I went up the double-decker, and said to her, "sayer hantar awak balek, boleh?" "okay..." 1035pm: that last journey together. "awak penat?" "okay okay luh..." "nak baring kat sayer?" "no, takper.. tak penat." "boleh awak baring kat sayer?" "whatever for?" "err, saye nak. awak baring kat saye. please, last time?" she smiled, before proceeding to lie on my shoulder. i asked her whether can i put my arms around her, just for that last time. she agreed. not long after, she fell asleep. it pains me knowing that, all of these little things, it will be the last time. I was crying my heart out while watching her sleep. I gently hold her hand, releasing it quickly when she started to move, cause i know i no longer have that privillege anymore. There was so much things i wanted to tell her, but i dont want to hear what she has to reply, cause i know, it'll still be the same reply. so i guess this was the only time i could tell her, even if she's not awake. When i was sure she was soundly asleep, i gave a forehead kiss before placing her hand at my heart. " awak, sayer betul2 sygkan awak. sampai nyer hati awak suruh saye lepaskan awak. saye dah janji nak sehidup semati dengan awak, kenape ni harus menjadi kesudahannye? u, please realise that this heart. it beats for you. sayer dah tak tahu lagy dah, macam mana saye nak terus hidup, knowing that you wont be there anymore with me? saket hati ni shida. saye janji dengan awak, kalau ni benar2 kali yang terakhir, saye mohon maaf, awak atas kesilapan saye. saye doakan awak akan bertemu dengan lelaki yang jauh lebih baik dari saye, awak. saye sayangkan awak, shida..." FOr memories sake, i took a picture of us together, for that last time. Also, that was the time, i managed to slip my letter that i have made in her bag which was just beside me. just after that, she started to move and i quickly put her hands down , wiped my tears away. And she woke up. "were you crying?" "no, i selseme." "awak, awak will you delete me from facebook?" "no, i wont shida." "really? will you block me then?" i kept quiet, not knowing how to answer that. Really, i did not know how to answer that tough question. And so, it was time to alight. every steps nearing to her home, my sadness grew deeper. I didnt want to cry no more, but i just couldnt help it. And when we finally reach her block, she salam-ed me and went into the lift, before waving me a final goodbye....  the last picture, i secretly took. purely for memories sake. i know you'll be reading this, im sorry for taking your picture without asking. And that was how my love story ended. If you managed to read all the way until here, I thank you for taking the time. good day everyone. posted on @ 4:45 AM | back to the top.
its over.
090510 - 230910 the end of my love story. posted on Tuesday, September 21, 2010 @ 3:04 PM | back to the top.
nobody, but you.
Currently in love with this song. It's on repeat whenever I miss you. =) enjoy everybody. have a great day today. posted on Sunday, September 19, 2010 @ 3:16 AM | back to the top.
ni baru raya!
" I think every relationship should be treated like a marriage. Don't commit if you're not serious. A relationship is also a promise to be more than just loyal and faithful, but also to be there for each other through thick and thin. If you're unsure, stick to dating. But don't make a promise you cannot keep. If you're not in it for the long run, why do it all? Why put the other in danger because you're only thinking of the present. A relationship should never be selfish, but understanding. Marriage is just a relationship with a higher title, it should always be the same as a simple healthy relationship. " got this from siti's blog, so I thought of sharing it around as well. Cucu's jalan raya outing was exceptionally tiring, yet at the same time it was a fun-filled day. The fact that love agreed to follow made it even more better, cause I got to spend the whole day with her, and my bros as well. Alhamdulilah... More pictures will be uploaded soon on my FB, so kalau mahu view, singgah-singgah selalu lah yer kawan-kawan? Today's outing made me realise something, well a lot of things to be exact. The 'bondings', the 'aper? ni macam members?' etc, but I shall not go into details about it. Let this be a lesson learnt for me, and not to make the same mistakes again. Amin..  After what happened today, I guess I finally realised the importance of my own family, and you. I realised that, friends that you call 'bro', 'member', 'jiwe' etc may just leave you by yourself, just like that. But not my mum, dad, sis: my family. Though sometime I don't feel like i have a mum nor dad, buruk-buruk macam mane pun I know they'll still be there for me. And plus now,there is the existence of you in my life. After all that has happened between the two of us, we still pulled through. together as one.In aniway, thanks for the company, love. I really had a great day with you around. Akhirnye, dapat jugak rase nikmatnye. hehe! more to come okay? insyallah.. You're all that I have now. I'll promise to be there for you through your Os, giving you support in any possible ways to the best of my abilities.. to be there for you through the smiles and the tears, through your next phase of life.. until I'm no longer needed. For now, I shall continue to be a good son, a good brother and of course, a good boyfriend to those special people in my life. thank you, awaq. =) posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 @ 12:59 PM | back to the top.
judgement day
 one week from now. Thats just how much time I will be giving myself To see if anything good will ever come out of this. If things are still the same, then I will have to come to a decision. 7 days is all we got, to do something. Please, change. posted on Friday, September 10, 2010 @ 5:43 AM | back to the top.
rainbows after the rain.
 yesterday night, I talked to god. I actually asked him why things hasnt turned better, even though I hoped for it. It was as if He was not listening to all my craps every single night. I said that I had grown tired of crying, I said that I had enough of all this that's happening, and if possible, I want Him to show me some sign when I wake up today. I was really at a lost to do anything, that was why I seeked help from him. In other words, you can say I was really angry at Him, for turning a deaf ear on me. But guess what? Today, she texted me. She told me what I've been longing to hear for. She wanted to give it a try, to work things out between us again. Thank you Allah, seriously. Thank you. :') Now at least I have something to look forward to. Selamat Hari Raya kawan-kawan. posted on Thursday, September 9, 2010 @ 5:37 AM | back to the top.
what could have been.
Its the 9th of September. If we were still together, we would be happily celebrating our 4th month together now. Whatever it is, I’ll still wish you. I’ll still wish us. Call me thick-skinned, call me tak tahu malu or whatever you want to. But happy 4th, to us. I do sincerely hope you remember all those happy times we shared together, And im looking forward to more of it with you. I love you. posted on Thursday, September 2, 2010 @ 10:00 PM | back to the top.
Another twist.
The title explains it all. Today, finally after for so long, I managed to get her to call. I wanted to settle everything once and for all. I myself was not even sure whether we were still together or not. But today I had the answer. So, as you guys should probably know by now, she has decided to call it quits. She said that she has decided there and then that day, that she has grown tired of all the fights and she never want to go through that, ever again. After much pleading to save our already-broken relationship, I still could not make her change her mind. But that was not actually what shocked me. It is the WAY she gave me the answers; the way she talked back to me that surprised me. I do not know how to put it into words, it’s like, here I am trying to work something out, giving her all sorts of promises and begging her to give me another chance, but yet she was adamant on breaking up. It even went to the point that I pinched myself to check whether everything was just a dream, a nightmare. It feels like it wasn’t the girl that I fall in love with that I was on the phone with. She really seemed to change overnight. Her words were definitely painful, and I can still feel my heart breaking into pieces whenever I think about it now. I can go on and on and write every single thing that she has said to me; to show you people how hurtful it sounded. But whatever for? I’ll just be giving a bad impression of her, which is not my purpose in writing all of this down. Come and ask me personally if you really want to know the whole story. No doubt, all this past incidents that led to the break up is not solely her fault, because, it takes two hands to clap. I’m aware that it is my fault too, so that is why I feel, by sharing it with someone, he/she will be able to point out my mistakes. I’ll be more than happy to hear where I go wrong. The moment I reached home, I went on to delete her, from facebook, the photos and all, just so I can forget every single memory that I had of her. I felt that it was of no use for me to love someone, to cry for that someone, when she has told me she no longer loved me like before. Imagine just how painful it is to delete her from my msn contacts. Imagine how painful it is to delete her from facebook, just so that I will stop viewing her profile. Looking at every single pictures of her and me, before deleting them one by one. Deleting her contact numbers, because I felt it was pointless for me to keep since neither of us is going to call the number any longer. even privatising my own blog here hurts me much. Please try to understand how I’m feeling now. But .. Just as I was doing all of that, guess what. She called me. She called to ask why I deleted her off from facebook. And then we talked about it. She even gave me an email saying how she still needed me in her life and such. At this point of time, I was really, really confused. Just hours before, she said she wanted to end everything, and now she’s saying a totally different thing altogether? If you’re surprised yourself, then I guess u should more or less probably understand the hell that I was going through. Just as I was about to forget everything about her, she gave me that bit of hope, that everything is not lost yet. She wants to remain single for now, at least for the moment. She wants to concentrate solely on her Os. She even says everything will be back to normal, for us after that. That is the part that I just don’t understand. By then I was already too tired to think. I told her; I would agree to anything that she wants. Anything. All I ask from her is that we’d still be together, at the end of the day. I didn’t want to complicate things any further. I don’t want her to think too much about this, when her Os is round the corner. So, I guess that’s how my life story has been, the twist and turns, the ups and downs, everything. The only thing I can do right now is to wait. I shall leave everything up to The One Above. Kalau jadi, jadilah, kalau tak, aku redha. Tu sahje. To everyone, First of all, I thank everyone that has been there for me, the advices that you people gave, and the never ending support. But please, I beg you; please do not have these bad impressions of her or anything like that. Like I have always said, whatever that has been written down, it’s all just one side of the story, and that I realised I too have my fair share of blames. But whatever it is, I sincerely hope no one thinks badly of her. She is a nice girl, I can swear to it. In any way, I appreciate your time if you really took the time to read all my freaking long, emoshit or whatever you called it, posts. It’s just an outlet to let it all out. That’s all. Thank you, friends. To you, I will un-privatise my blog soon. By then, I really hope we’re already okay, just like how we started off together. I know you will read all of these posts one day. But for now, I want to apologise to you, for bearing it all. Sumpah, syai takde niat nak buruk2kan awak. Macam syai kate, this is just a way for me to let everything out. Please understand, I still love you after all that has happened, I’ll wait for you if that is what you really want. All I ask from you is to hold on to the promises you made to me. That is the only thing right now that’s pushing me until the day we’ll be together again. I’m sorry if I hurt you when you knew I deleted our pictures in my facebook. There is a folder in my laptop that has all our pictures in it, but I didn’t delete that away. I’m sorry if I did hurt you when I deleted u from facebook. I can add up again, anytime. In anyway, I still have not changed my password for my account, so you’ll have complete access to it. I’m sorry if it hurts you when I say I deleted your contact numbers. I managed to write down your phone and home number on a piece of paper and I had it placed in my wallet, just in case, even before I pressed that ‘delete’ button on my phone. And I’m sorry too; if it hurts when say I deleted u off from my msn contacts, I’m sorry because I lied. I didn’t delete you off, I just blocked you. Shida, please realise, that’s just how much you have made me fall in love with you. Good day everyone. May you be in the best of health. Amin. posted on Wednesday, September 1, 2010 @ 1:44 PM | back to the top.
who am i?
I do not know why, but I feel somewhat upset whenever I look at your facebook profile. I really did not expect that coming from you, saying that you wanted to reactivate your Facebook account back. Giving me all sorts of reasons. But you never realised this; It was because of that facebook incident the other day that almost caused us to separate.The other day, you were willing to delete your facebook account, because you could not afford to let go of our relationship. you valued US much more than other stuffs, so ive gotta say I was really happy and was quite assured that you really mean it this time. Who would be willing to delete his/her own Fb account just because of a relationship, you tell me? So in a way, i knew she deserved a second chance to gain my trust back. She even declined to do up another Fb account, even when I told her to; she insisted on having a shared account. I was slowly gaining my trust on her. But fast forward to today, things changed. She wanted her own Facebook account back, citing reasons like she needs her 'own personal space'. For every reasons she gave me, I rebutted her back with solutions to it, I even went on to say she could use the existinng Fb account all to herself, just so that she would not reactivate her old one. But she was adamant on having her own FB account. She even went on to say that she deleted her Fb the last time round was to 'fucking jage hati you, thats why'. Wow. Look here. I am not writing all this down, to shoot the girl that I love. Never has it been that way. The reason to it is actually because... I need to write down how im feeling right now here on my own blog. I can go crazy if I dont do anything about it. Maybe you people thinks the way she do, " just let her be", "give her space that she craves", "Just let her do up her own Facebook account for god's sake . Yes, precisely. I feel that way, too. But you see, I cannot just find it within me to allow this to happen, not when the situation for us is vey tense now. And the thing is, I just do not want that incident to happen again. It did happen once, whose to say it will never happen, now that she has her own facebook account? If she could have gave me reasonable reasons, maybe we could have come to a solution to it. but.. After openning up to Arep, I somehow more or less has already decided. If 'personal space' is what she really wants, then that is exactly what I'm going to give her. But I just do not know what does she mean by that 'personal space' that she craves for. does it include not texting, not calling, not meeting up, or anything that has got to do with me? I don't know, seriously. All i know is, If I still mean something to her, she will find a way to look for me, but as for now, I will be away from her life. She wants to reactivate her own Facebook account back? By all means, go ahead. I will try to distract myself from all those negative thoughts that I have. To you. I am sacrificing myself for your wants and needs. I hope you're matured enough to know that this "reactivating Facebook account" thingy is not the main issue as to why Im so against it. Like how i have been advised, Let time shows everything. I dont even know what am I to you now. But I'd hoped you would see that Im swallowing my own ego, my own feelings, to apologise to you and to work things out with you. If this is really the end, be open about it. I can only wait and see whether I still mean anything to you or not. FOr the mean time, enjoy your facebook, and enjoy your freedom. LOve you. That's it for today. need to hit the books now, hopefully it'll get into my head. bye. posted on @ 12:25 AM | back to the top.
Its not the end, kan? please, i dont want it to be.
First of all, I apologise for privating my blog. I'm the kind of person who dont believe in privatising one's blog, because I feel that, blogging is the place where one write down about their daily updates, feelings, activities and whatnots. So, if you feel like writing it down, but choose not to let anyone see because you want to make it a private thingy, then it defeats the purpose of having an online journal totally. But ohwells, to each his own. Others may have a different view on this, so I shall respect that.It seems things are going much more worst than I feared. TOday, the girl I loved so much wants to call it quit. She no longer wants to continue this relationship, and to be honest I am still shell-shocked upon knowing about it. That's the main reason why I'm privatising my blog, at least for the moment. I just don't want her to read my post for her, yet I have to write something to while my time away, lest I'm gonna think about what has happened. I could write down the whole incident that has happened prior to this breakup, but it's gonna take me the whole night, but I choose not to, because of the fact that I respect her and I still love her no matter what. I'm at a lost to do anything right now. you know, the feeling of trying to do something, like texting her or calling her to salvage the situation, but yet you know now is not the right time to actually do that since both party is still not rationally ready yet? I don't know but I want to think that she did say about breaking up, in a moment of anger. Yes, i hope she does not mean everything that she has said. I am crossing my fingers now, and hope that things will be okay in the next few days. Please. Yes, I have my own fault too. I got advices from Arep, my bro and hopefully kak Farah. Thanks bro for being there, to listen to my craps and all. Aku tak tahu aper nak buat, kalau kao tak datang tady.Thank you very much. I just cannot accept that she's leaving me, because I loved her, too much in fact. To you, Please baby, Do know im tearing now as im writing this post. I'm not being mushy over here, But you already made me fall deeply in love with you. The thought of you not being with me anymore, and that you in the arm of another guy, kills me. Imagine how i'd felt when I read your latest blog post. Niat syai nak tegur you balek, nak baik2 semula, and then I read those hurtful post. But its okay. I realised, i'm no angel myself. I must have my faults too. And i want to change, but you never tell me where I go wrong in our relationship. Now, Im just waiting for the both of us to cool down, to think carefully, what's the best for the both of us. Im pretty clear for myself; the first day I decided to be with you, I told myself that I want to be with you, and only you. And that has never change. Please, I hope you dont mean whatever you have just said. but in case you have proved your point to me, that it will never work out between us, Then I guess, It will really be the end for us. Yes, of course I will be sad, but I must not be selfish towards you. Bertepok sebelah tangan pun, takda gunanya. I will be ready physicaly and mentally, when you're ready to talk to me. If it is really the end for us, then... thank you shida, for being a part of my life. At least, there was a girl who would love me unconditionally and let me be a part of her life. I thank you for showing me what love is. I thank you for letting me love somebody. I thank you for the happy times as well as the sad times with you. Thank you very much shida. =') I'll let time heal everything. Amin. |
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