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Kane Nobuhiro
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Please Take Note.
 People don't keep journals for themselves. They keep them for other people, like a secret they don't want to tell, but they want everyone to know. I don't own any of these pictures unless I state them. All photos and quotes on this blog are the properties of the respectful owners.Anyone wishing for their works to be credited please contact me via formspring or the tagboard itself. thank you. |
posted on Monday, January 31, 2011 @ 9:33 PM | back to the top.
so near, yet so far.
 Puncak Pertandingan dikir barat Singapura 2011 And so, I'm done with one more competition. Sadly to say, chuchu did not manage to get through to the Finals at Singapore Polytechnic. But hey, I am not complaining though. This shall be served as a wake up call to each and everyone of us. Whatever it is, I am proud of my friends on stage. I could see, especially the juniors the burning desire of wanting to play for this competition and they gave their absolute best up there. It's okay that we did not managed it this time round, I'm pretty sure we will come back, stronger. Job well done, chuchus. Alhamdulilah. I'm glad that at least we did a good job on stage. It's just... ohwells. Tough luck I can say. Like they say, there's always a first time for everything. Taking the positives out of this, well at least I can now focus solely on my studies, the upcoming final UTs, more PP session with my bro, more lepak time. Yessaaaah! Shall gonna use this 'break' wisely, and have as much rest as possible. Have not been getting enough sleep for the past week; so its payback time. hee. Well, anyway congratulations to the teams that made it to the Finals stage. Fight it out for that $6000 first-place prize okay! =) "That shoulder must have hurt a lot. Well maybe I was just thinking too much, but I got reminded of back then when you keep complaining of that problem you'd had. Ive heard that sound it made and touch that shoulder for myself aniway, that was why I came to that assumption. Better be careful okay. Well, you did great I must say. Tukang harmonise lagi, dah memang professional much. it was really great to be able see the both of you up on stage and during breaks, well albeit from afar. I miss the both of you so much, really. So so much. Congratulations for making it to the Finals iyer, the team deserved it. And.. thank you. I was waiting actually, and true enough it happened." On a happier note, I've waited for 16 freaking days, and now it's back to day 1 on twitter today. Soon please, will you? On an even brighter note, short getaway on Chinese New Year! Woop woop! Till next time, friends! posted on Saturday, January 29, 2011 @ 2:58 PM | back to the top.
it's tomorrow.
 Last training today, before the actual competition itself tomorrow. Whatever it is, I have done the very best that I could and the rest is all up to the juniors to raise their game. Ade rezki... langkah lah kiter ke Finals. Kalau takde, tidaq mengaper. The most important thing of all, is to remember to have fun on stage okay juniors. To the other 18 groups fighting for the rights to be in the Finals, I wish everyone the very best for tomorrow. Tak usahlah gadoh gadoh lagi, kiter semuer ni same sahje yer. Sumer same kulit, betol? All the best kawan kawan, kalau nampak epul tegur yer! =) awaq, all the best for tomorrow's comp. Have fun up there on stage with 'em okayy. senyum senyum selalu. oh yes, I know. posted on Monday, January 24, 2011 @ 11:24 PM | back to the top.
please.
Its not that I can't forget about you, It's just that I dont even wanna try to. posted on Sunday, January 23, 2011 @ 1:05 AM | back to the top.
fourth.
So we are entering the final week before the competition itself this sunday. Will be busy with everyday trainings, rest assured I'll be like a walking zombie in school this whole week. Cannot wait to get this over and done with, just so I can concentrate on other much more important stuffs. Ade rezki, masuk lah Finals. Kalau taqde rezki, ohwells. And I have got to start memorising the lyrics sooner rather than later. I got a feeling Tok's gonna give a 'theory test' one of these days. bleagh~ presevere on, chuchus! And oh! sidetracked a bit, happy (insert month here) monthsary, to the both of you yeah! Sorry taq ingat brape bulan, aku cume ingat date korang je. Hehehehe!  Nanti kahwin, jangan luper jemput aku tao okayy. Last long kawan kawan! (= Alright, I guess it's enough for today. Be safe loved ones! " The special day that marks a new chapter for 'em; One wished this day would never have had to happen at all 4 months back." posted on Wednesday, January 19, 2011 @ 5:34 PM | back to the top.
used to.
 "So much to say, but no words to convey. the loneliness building, with each passing day." I don't understand how we can both look at each other like total strangers, and feel absolutely nothing. Never spoke, no laughters Not even a smile. Yet when I saw you, I felt both happy and sad. Happy to see you in person. Sad because, I realised things can't be the way it was ever again. I can say I'm doing pretty okay for the past few days. Partly because currently I am superbly busy with school stuffs, trainings and all that I have got no time to think about these mixed up emotions. Today, It's just one of those days where I miss her much more than any other days. And I really don't like it. It sucks to miss someone, who wouldnt even think about you in the first place. Dulu kalau syai saket, awak betul betul punye amek berat. Sekarang ni syai saket, awaq tak kesah lagi ker? Sigh. posted on Sunday, January 16, 2011 @ 1:00 AM | back to the top.
lagy ape?
Its really surpring how that certain someone can make me the most happiest guy one day, and then make me completely hurt the next. I will never understand why I'm resigned to such fate when all that I have ever did was to stay true to one. It hurts when that certain someone were able to tell me all that. Because, that certain someone are proving to me that my feelings and I myself, no longer mean a shit. Yet again, I'm left dissapointed, angered and hurt. Over and over and over again. Yes, I admit to being stupid to still allow that certain someone to control my life in this manner. But what can I possibly do? Maybe, I'm just used to this pain already. Foolish much. I crave so much for my own personal space and through here is the only way I can let it all out. But yet I am not able to express myself totally for the sole reason that the last person/people on this Earth that I want to be reading my blog, actually still does. Which really surprise me because I don't see a reason for them to be since he/she/they hates me just as much as I do. I have played around with the idea of moving to a new blog altogether. But nope, I am not going to. I don't see a need for it just because of these 'person/people'. As long as I remain cautious and not to mention any names in any of my post, I am safe. So if you actually think that you understand who the fuck I'm referring to, or that you know what I'm talking about, think again. Kalau nak tahu sangat sangat, tanye aku directly. Better that way. It seems that you wont care even if I no longer exists in this world. I could have moved if I wanted to, would you even spend the effort and time to look for me? I don't think so. You should jolly well know how true I am, so stop all that bullshit that I am trying to shoo people away. Even if I stop writing about anyone, do you really think it means I have already forgotten about that person? You should know. And as always, I give in. Whatever shit that you want me to do, okay fine. Biar aku dan kau je tahu. Aku sedih biler kau sedih. Aku tumpang gembira biler aku tahu kau bahagia. Tapi tolonglah. Jangan sakitkan hati aku dengan kata-kata kau tuh. Dah, aku dah buat ape kau nak aku lakukan. Walaupun aku terpakse. And it does not help that my sim card is being a bitch currently. No connection ever since yesterday even though I have gone down to get it replaced to a new one. Ohwells, I don't think I will hear from the people that matters aniway. See what I meant, would you even care? The post below is irrelevant by the way. So, fuck it. posted on Thursday, January 13, 2011 @ 8:04 PM | back to the top.
Love(d)
 And so, that's how I got to know that she didn't do that well for the results. Which of course, I was equally sad for her as well. Didnt got her choice of courses, but I'm glad that she still wants to take private O's again, just goes to show how much she understands the importance of education here in Singapore. The end. Come to think of it, I don't know why I choose to blog about this stuff. But then again, these are the moments that I have been waiting for every single day, and it just feels so good. It makes me appreciate those precious seconds. The feeling I get, I can never explain it. I'm thankful nonetheless to the One Above, for answering my prayers that she will somehow, tell me how she did for the results. Just give me that motivation to carry on asking from Him now. Thank you, Ya Allah.=) Please remember this okay. (1) There wasnt any one day or night, where I have not thought about you. (2) So stop saying that I'm trying to shoo you away from my life, nor am I gonna hate you. (3) If you ever need my help for Anything, even for your studies, you know how to contact me. InsyaAllah, syai tolong ape yang syai mampu yer. (4) I know my mp3 is made in china, so you don't have to laugh about it okay. -.-" (5) About that girl, and what exactly happened between us, well there's nothing going on actually, seriously. We't just normal friends but yeah, im trying to avoid her now actually. I don't know why, but I just want to. And thought you should know, takde perempuan lain okay? sumernye kawan biase. Tetap satu saje di hati. (7) Like how syai takkan luperkan awaq.. please, don't ever forget me will you? that's all syai mintaq. syai tetap tunggu entah biler, tunggu je lah. At least, I feel happy today. Pergi sekolah pun, muke ada senyuuum. Maybe, the only downside of today was the UT after school. I guess I will do badly this time for UT2. Nevermind, shall work hard for the remainder of the UTs then. Alright back to hit the books! Take care y'all! and countdown starts today with day 1! woop woop! =) posted on Monday, January 10, 2011 @ 12:00 AM | back to the top.
all the best.
 And I never fail to update that notepad at the start of a new day, every single day. With each passing day, I told myself not to look back, for it has already gone and remain focus on what lies ahead instead. And now that I'm back, I guess it's time for me to delete that note now. But this one's still gonna stay. Y'know, purely for motivation kind of thing. " If you really love her, you would want to see her happy. And to see her happy, you must move on! " =) "Awaq, it's your O'level result today. I'm sure you'll do just as fine. Tiap-tiap kali syai solat, syai selalu doakan awaq akan dapat berita gembira untuk O'level awaq. I just hope you'll come out of that hall, jumping for joy okay. InsyaAllah. All the best for today iyer, awaq." posted on Sunday, January 9, 2011 @ 12:00 AM | back to the top.
not shady, it's me.
Guess who's back ?  As promised, Im back to blogging after almost 32 days. Friends, anonymous people have been asking me where have I gone to all this while, and why i didnt update my blog etc. Haha, don't worry alright, for I am still alive, and kicking. woop woop! So, where shall I start? Well, its 2011 now. Say whut? time really flies, didnt it? Everyone has been talking about their own new year resoulution and such. Myself? Well, it wasn't such a bad idea that I kept myself restricted only to my Twitterpage for this whole period of time; it got me to straighten my thinking and plans for the new year. For 2011,I just hope that I can live everyday, happily. Thats all. Likewise, a few change in me for the new year 2011. I hope I can, oh yes! 1) Improve GPA for the current semester. Yeahballs. I'm quite worried about my current GPA actually. I want to go for the attachement thingy, and based on my current gpa, I can say... wait long long. That's why, I will have to really dig it in this time round and work effing hard to push up my grades, just so i can go for the IIP shit and then, graduate at the end of the day. Alhamdulilah, my daily grades so far has been pretty okay. Just need to do a wee bit more and I guess, I'll be alright! 2) Forge a stronger bond between the family. I realised that there are still a lot to be done to keep the family together. Alhamdulilah, at least I see a bit of improvement from both sides. Got to come up with more ideas to keep the family bonded like how it used to be back then. 3) Make new friends! And for the new year, I plan to make as many new friends I can as possible, just so I can broaden my circle of friends. It's not wrong of me right, no? So, I'll probably gonna have to be as cheerful as I used to be and start smilling more now! 4) Keep the true ones, throw away the rest. Which comes to my next point. I realised after that worst episode in my life that happened back in 2010, there are actually two kinds of friends that I have; One that really listens, and the other just curious to know about what's happening. I've even got friends who I thought they would be there for me where I needed them to, but unfortunately Nope. For a start, I'm gonna only care for the friends that have really stick with me throughout the lowest point of my life, and don't ever bother about the other 'friends' that I thought I had. So! If you happen to notice that we seldom keep in touch any longer, chances are, you belong to the latter. :) 5) fuck love for now. No, i don't need love now. Not looking for it either. I might probably have to eat my own words in the future, maybe maybe not. But one thing;s for sure, I will just let nature takes its course and follow the flow. 6) keep 'awaq' close to my heart. I won't deny it. she's still number one for me. Let's just see if I will still feel that way by the end of year 2011. Ohwell, I will just continue living my life the way I have been doing then. Gonna start a new countdown over in twitter, counting down the days until I get to hear news of her. So, tada! it's day 2 today, for the fact that something did happen yesterday, so yerp. Though we have ushered in the new year, I will still keep her close in my heart, smile and get on with life. So sorry fuckers, you thought I would back down and give up eventually, didnt you? hah. And oh, kamu? if you happen to be reading all this, please know that this is the reason why I reserved my 'i miss you, too', 'i love you, too' and whatevernots to only this girl right there. I'm truly sorry for the times you said,'i miss you, guyfriend' and all those sweet nothings, I would just laugh and shrug it off. I don't go around saying all these to each and every friends of mine, even if you do. Because to me, it's like something precious. It takes someone really special to hear all those mushy mushy stuff coming out from me. And I hope you will understand alright. NOpe, Im not looking to be in another relationship, yet. please refer back to point 3 okay. Im sorry, syai maseh sayang dier. 7) No more Mr nice guy. For a change, i'll no longer be the syai who bows down to everyone's needs. I'll be nice to you if you are. Others, wont matter anymore to me. and if anyone of you still choose to be a coward and tag me hurtful stuff again, I'll be more than happy to entertain your crap. Simply said, choose to be anononymous, formspring please. Tagboard, at least have the balls to put your name down. cowards. 8) passion, will always be. Truth be told,I have already decided to call it quits about continuing in this dikir scene altogether. Going for trainings and competitions has really been torturing, mentally and emotionally. But tok had to text me and brought up about the 'don't leave your brothers by themselves up there on stage.' and the 'your team still needs you.' shits that made me play for the previous competition. Precisely why my so called 'brothers' called me crap, merepek, 'jadi jantan jangan kelepeh!' and whatnots. Yes, i still love dikir barat, but whatever that has happened made me somewhat lose that enthusiasm in me. And I just don't know what im supposed to do now that i can't run away from the problems i'm facing. I will probably just carry on with the trips down to bedok and future competitions, but I dont think I will commit for this one particular competition, if ever there will be, in this upcoming months to come. So, we will see. I intend to coninue with this passion of mine at least, until NS. I will think about what comes next later. But for now, Im still in chuchus. 9) My blog, my say. Enough has been said. whatever that my bro,ikhlas have advised me does make sense after all. We don't live to please others. Haters makes me famous anyway. So, yeah. I will no longer think twice before writing my feelings down. I write whatever fuck that i want in here, from now onwards. Think it's too emo for you? get the fuck out of here please. Thank you, NOT! Basically, that's about it. And before I go off, I would like to say for the last time that I, as always, have already forgiven those cowards that posted on my tagboard. No worries, I wont take offence to it alright. But yeah, I hope you guys too, would forgive this mat right here for these middle fingers. I don't have enough for the whole lot of you. Sorry! Until the next post then friends. thanks to those who still views my blog eventhough I have been away for so long. I know who you are! Let's just see how the next 12 months of 2011 would be for syai then. It is going to be full of surprises, I swear. Woop woop! =) " syai was doing quite okay actually for those times I've been away. 7th of january, when I was just this close to finally say I'm completely over you, we had to meet face to face on that fucking 168. You, from RP open house and me, going for my fucking training. Impossible that you didnt notice me, cause I knew you were just sitting right behind me. And the reason why I had to fucking control my tears was because all the way throughout the journey, not even once did you look at me nor speak to me. We were that close to each other, yet you didnt. why? It's sad to see that you're treating syai no different than a complete stranger in that bus. While I was there seating covering up my fucked up face just so you would not see those fucking tears. but im cool with it. Seriously. cause at least syai feels that you have really moved on in life, and for once syai was able to see you in person. For once syai was able to hear your voice from behind. And that laughter of yours that syai freaking miss. it could have been our 8th today, takper lah, dah takde jodoh. Awaq, esok O-level result kan. All the best iyer. Jaga diri. " phew. I miss blogging. Time for facebook now! |
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