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Kane Nobuhiro
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Please Take Note.
 People don't keep journals for themselves. They keep them for other people, like a secret they don't want to tell, but they want everyone to know. I don't own any of these pictures unless I state them. All photos and quotes on this blog are the properties of the respectful owners.Anyone wishing for their works to be credited please contact me via formspring or the tagboard itself. thank you. |
posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2011 @ 9:24 PM | back to the top.
Closing the chapter...
' Sometimes, things don't always work out as planned. And when they don't, we get upset, angry, depressed. That's usually how it goes, but I've learned that life is just, that way. Life lets us down, so when it does bring us up, we'd appreciate what we've missed on the way down. We appreciate the ride, we appreciate the moments, the feelings. We appreciate just being alive. Life never forgets to bring us back up, and when it does take a little longer, it's because it's just waiting for us to do our part. ' Everything is going to be okay. I have written those words so many times over and over again but for the first time today, it means something different. Because every other time, I was only trying to convince myself of something I know wouldn't happen. But today I know, I will be okay. Four hundred and twelves day on.... I can finally say I'm over you. Alhamdulillah.  Your all I think about now. This, I've got to admit. Makcik sombong, goodnight. syai miss you. and I'm sorry. posted on Sunday, May 29, 2011 @ 6:57 PM | back to the top.
why must shit happen all the time?
Problems after another. Im getting sick of all these added stress to my already hectic lifestyle. Why do you still keep creating these mess one after another. I thought everything returned back to normal and life can go as as per normal. But today, the text message that you wrongly send it to me proved otherwise. Why? If you dont love us anymore, if you dont love the family, then kindly tell us so. I've had enough of your nonsense and I am on the brink of losing it all together. How am i supposed to respect you, when you're not showing me that you have changed? Its time like this I wished neneq were still around to hear me out. She's the only one woman I loved so dearly, the one that understands me inside out. Now that she's gone for almost 2 years now, I feel so alone and without anyone I can really turn to whenever shits happen. sigh. Dad has been really strong to go through all this. But until when, ayah? There's a limit to one's own strength and it does not help that everytime it happens, you swallow it to yourself. Must we wait until the next time this happens again, which can be a few days, months or even years later, and then you will decide to confront again? Honestly, I don't think you will ever learn your lesson. Honestly, I do think you still keep things behind our back. Tapi Tuhan maha Adil dan tahu menahu segalanyer. Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnye jatuh ke tanah juga. It is never my intention to disrespect you, but I really need clarifications on this matter. Think for the family, it is never just about you only. I pity my little sister. She's too young to understand what is happening in the house. I salute my dad, for staying strong and still holding on, all these while. So please, if you dont love us anymore, leave us. I still love you, mom. posted on Wednesday, May 25, 2011 @ 9:58 AM | back to the top.
Third time macha...
And so, I'm finaly done with Piala Damai 2011. It was a mixed emotion at the end of the day, no doubt about it.  Chuchu got 7th place in the overall standing, and we managed to bag the 'Awok-Awok' Terbaik, for the third time in our history. It is a big deal for us personally,to be considered on par with the giant groups. Alhamdulillah.. (: Well, this might be a sign from Him though. Despite everything that has been going on internally, we still managed to achieve the individual award. It just goes to show, if we could put aside our differences and stay as one up there on stage, anything is possible. Come on chuchu's, let's work on this part. Congratulations on the achievements brothers, we deserved it! (=   posted on Friday, May 20, 2011 @ 1:00 AM | back to the top.
Let's go for it!
 Just a short post for today. Good luck for those participating in this Saturday's Piala Damai Competition. May the best group wins. Goodluck Chuchu's this saturday! This is it. 10mins is all what you've got to kill it. "Biar kalah di mata pengadil, asalkan menang di hati penonton." ingat tuh.. Let's have fun on stage, shall we? Om Shanti Om punya! (; Well, If anyone of you here happens to see me there, Jangan luper tegur iyerr.... See you guys there! posted on Monday, May 9, 2011 @ 12:00 AM | back to the top.
12th, could have been.
 ' I miss you. It's undeniable. I can try to avoid it as much as I want, but I cant help aching to have you back whenever you vaguely cross my mind. The worst part is that you don't miss me back. I wouldn't be surprised if I never even for once crossed your mind. Why don't you? What we had was great. I want to run back to you so badly and confess everything I feel, but I know it's gonna be useless, 'cause nothing will change. And you won't care. And now the only thing left for me to do is sit here and gruellingly wait for this pain to pass. ' So I told myself if I could just hang on for a little while more.. then one day, maybe just one day, she'll see just how much she means to me. Just how do I get better from here, when I thought I had the best in the past? One year ago, I was the happiest guy alive. I thought I finally found the one who could walk this road together. Promises were made and love was in the air. And till today, I'm still very much in love with that one girl who gave me that opportunity that no other girls did. In honest truth, I didnt expect myself to have that same feelings for that girl after so long. Well, I didnt expect that I could hold on this long even though shit happens 8 months back. Fvckyeah, people has been asking and wondering just what makes her that special, I swear I didn't know how to answer that question. I just cannot seem to erase all the memories of us. No matter how hard I try, it's something I cannot do. Maybe that's just it. Fast forward to 9th of May 2012, would I still be this way, still very much in love with her? I don't know, and I don't like this. It hurts to love when I cannot even tell what I really feel. I get jealous even when I know I have no right to feel that way. I just want a few minutes of her, but I know I am in no position to demand for it. Though my heart is breaking in silence, I'd still continue to love. Because somehow in this hurtful love, there is still hopes of having simple moments with her even if it means being just a friend. A friend. No matter how hard I try to get over awaq, I'd still have feelings for you. And thats one of the hardest truth which I can never deny. I'd still remember the way things used to be and how they are now. Do you? And sometimes, I do feel I want everything to be how it used to be and time is supposed to heal my pain, but it's not that easy when we're dealing with affairs of the heart. This is precisely why even though we have been apart for all this while, I still can't help but wonder, how your life is because we used to be so close and my heart beats a little faster everytime I think of you. Which I can't help but wonder, have you ever thought of me awaq? )'= Despite everything that has unfold, I sincerely thank you for the opportunity to shower you with all the love that I could possibly give. I apologise for the times I made you cry, sad, or angry back then. Just thinking about the events in the past together with you is able to make me smile and sometimes laugh to myself. And I hope when I finally get to be over awaq and move on to another girl, I'll work on my flaws so that I can be a better person not only for the one I would eventually fall for, but for myself as well. The mistake I made in my previous relationship was to love you more than myself, which I have learnt now.  Wherever you are awaq, right now... and if you happen to read all this awaq, trust me. awaq tetap bintang hati Syai. Let me be this way, I'll find a way to get over you. I don't know how, but I will keep trying. Just don't treat me like an option, when you have been my top priority all this while. It could have been our 1st anniversary together, and I cannot help it but to smile to myself. Missing you, awaq. ('= posted on Saturday, May 7, 2011 @ 8:08 PM | back to the top.
Pool and Prawns !
For the first time for this semester, I was superbly freaking lazy to be in class listening to the Faci yapping away. The fact that I had Elaine on a Friday did not help, at all. The lesson was so dry I kept yawning away every minute. Yes, that bad. -.-      And so, me and Sucy partialled and played pool instead at woodlands lamer! Woohoo! It definitely feels great having a change rather than needing to rush the powerpoint slides and getting ready for presentations instead.Yang penting, member cakap dier tak pandai main pool. then sekali ajar sikit-sikit, lepas tu je fuh! sekejap sekejap bola masuk lobang! hahahaha.. bayek per BFF! (= Okayy, this shall be only a one-off kind of thing. I will not make it a habit to partial classes, I try. Hehehe! And after pool was over, we all went back as Sucy had to go to work and I had training over in Bedok. After training, Adek and gf wanted to go prawning, and so I followed them. For three hours of playing time, i caught 5 pathetic prawns. I know, I'm that awesome. *flips hair* Okay, I guess this will be enough for today. 2 days more, I don't know what else to do. take care everyone. posted on Friday, May 6, 2011 @ 12:10 AM | back to the top.
Abang Fai punye Big day!
 Selamat Pengantin Baru, Abang Fai! It's really heartwarming to see your brothers, one by one finally getting hitched. A truly special, once in a lifetime occasion for everyone, and I'm glad that I was there to witness it. I remembered fondly back in my secondary school days, time baru baru nak berjinak dalam dunie dikir barat ni, ni mamat datang ajar kiter kiter ni sumer. And I used to be scared of him because of the fact that he dye his hair, had piercings on his ears, and has the look of a typical matrep you can see lepak-ing at the void deck. Hahahaha! Tup Tup Tup, bertahun kemudian abang juara kiter lah... Hahaha! Now no more matrep already. Tetap maseh abang handsome, tapi giler! The part where we all sat and turned towards the bride and groom and sang 'fairuz kahwin....' to the tune of Wau Bulan, was really emotional as Abang Fai was on the verge of tearing. It was pretty obvious that he was tryig hard to control it. And now, everytime during trainings I would never fail to disturb him and shout,"abang fai, jangan nangis!" hehehe.. Seeing my brothers all getting married one by one, is definitely a happy one. Abang Fai dah kahwin, lepas tu nanti Omar punyer turn, then Hairil pulaq, lepas tu Adiboy, lepas tu Arep tulang, siaper lagy? Hahaha, bagus lah tu. Sumer pun umur dah makin tuer, cepat cepat kahwin, buat anak jadi boleh buat group CDM, Cicit Datuk Merah. Amacam geng? hahaha! To end off, I thought of uploading the video of the show during the day itself, but irritating blogger chose to take such a long time to finish uploading. So I guess I shall just share the link to it. To watch the video,click here!. I guess that's enough for today. Be in the best of health everyone, take care. Salams. posted on Monday, May 2, 2011 @ 10:52 PM | back to the top.
Finally.
 " Everyone has a certain part in their lives where they truly wished they could just freeze time. Whether it was just a moment, a whole day, or a whole year. Everyone has a time in their life when they wish everything would just stop. The world would stop turning and people would just stop changing. Because to them, at that point of time, everything was just perfect. Too perfect. " And recently over the weekend, I finally met up with an old friend of mine. It was really an unexpected meet up as it has been months, or even years that I have heard from that old friend. So it was really surprising that she called to hang out. Since I did not have any plan, and it was such a bore to be staying put at home the whole day, I decided to go out. That old friend of mine, has changed a lot these few years that passed. She looked much more fatter now, hahahaha. But yes, she's still that nice and petite lady that I knew back then, the one that I had feelings for way back when I was still just a kid. It felt somehow awkward too, I don't know why. Maybe that's just the feeling you'll get when you lost contact with a special friend before. Had a few small chats, and then went on to window-shop at the nearby mall. Went in to a shop which I had forgotten the name of it, and I could somehow remembered that the shop was coincidentally the first shop we went in to a few years back when we had our first meet up together. I smiled to myself as my friend browse through some clothes. Decided to treat my friend since we could not proceed on having our late lunch together, and it sure felt nice I could do that. At last, tercapai jugaq niat nak blanje orang dengan duit government tu. Hehehe, syai ikhlas luh selenger bachen!... Ohwells, I so wished it could have been a longer meet up session, hell we got a lot of catching up to do. But everyone's a little busy with their own lives somehow, so that's the only time I'll ever get. I hoped we can stay in touch after this, hopefully. Because this old friend of mine here used to be real close to me, as we shared almost everything and anything back in our primary school days. Somehow, as I watched her leave, flashbacks of our close bonds together came rushing into my mind. I truly miss her, and I wish her well for her future. May we keep in touch, old friend. (= |
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