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Kane Nobuhiro
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Please Take Note.
 People don't keep journals for themselves. They keep them for other people, like a secret they don't want to tell, but they want everyone to know. I don't own any of these pictures unless I state them. All photos and quotes on this blog are the properties of the respectful owners.Anyone wishing for their works to be credited please contact me via formspring or the tagboard itself. thank you. |
posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 @ 7:08 PM | back to the top.
Ajal & Maut, Allah Yang Tentukan.
 Dad, what if i have to go for dialysis in the future? Mum, what if I needed a minor operation? Would you be angry with me for these expensive treatments? Everyone will leave this world eventually, and that I am pretty sure of. It's just a matter of when that will be. All I know is that I am not ready to face Allah yet, and also for the fact that I have not really repaid both ayah and mama countless efforts in bringing their two child up. Y'know, I want to be just like any other male persons out there; Growing up and facing countless life's hurdles, having a stable job with a stable income, able to have a house of my own with both my own family and parents living together, going back home after work for dinner with the whole family. I want to feel how it feels like having big responsibilities on my shoulders. And I long for the day I can finally tell mama & ayah that its time for them to have their deserved break and let their only son take care of them. Maybe I'm just thinking too much into it. Maybe I'm being to far-fetched into predicting what will happen in the near future, just like what ayah says. But I know, we both know, something even much more worse is bound to happen if it's not treated now. Its a fact I really cannot deny. This pain has been niggling on for the past one week and it's not getting any better. I have made up my mind to go and have a visit to the family doctor tomorrow, if the pain is still unbearable. Just like how it is right now, at this very minute. And from there, I will find out more. Regardless of whatever the condition is, if it needs be that I have to go for any sort of minor operation or even further specialist check ups, I would flatly and immediately reject that idea. Yes, I am that scared to go for an op, however minor it will be. And also, I just do not want to waste any more of ayah & mama money. I have troubled them enough throughout my 21 years of life already. Well, we all will eventually die don't we? Let's just accept it. ('= |
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