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Kane Nobuhiro
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 People don't keep journals for themselves. They keep them for other people, like a secret they don't want to tell, but they want everyone to know. I don't own any of these pictures unless I state them. All photos and quotes on this blog are the properties of the respectful owners.Anyone wishing for their works to be credited please contact me via formspring or the tagboard itself. thank you. |
posted on Sunday, January 9, 2011 @ 12:00 AM | back to the top.
not shady, it's me.
Guess who's back ?  As promised, Im back to blogging after almost 32 days. Friends, anonymous people have been asking me where have I gone to all this while, and why i didnt update my blog etc. Haha, don't worry alright, for I am still alive, and kicking. woop woop! So, where shall I start? Well, its 2011 now. Say whut? time really flies, didnt it? Everyone has been talking about their own new year resoulution and such. Myself? Well, it wasn't such a bad idea that I kept myself restricted only to my Twitterpage for this whole period of time; it got me to straighten my thinking and plans for the new year. For 2011,I just hope that I can live everyday, happily. Thats all. Likewise, a few change in me for the new year 2011. I hope I can, oh yes! 1) Improve GPA for the current semester. Yeahballs. I'm quite worried about my current GPA actually. I want to go for the attachement thingy, and based on my current gpa, I can say... wait long long. That's why, I will have to really dig it in this time round and work effing hard to push up my grades, just so i can go for the IIP shit and then, graduate at the end of the day. Alhamdulilah, my daily grades so far has been pretty okay. Just need to do a wee bit more and I guess, I'll be alright! 2) Forge a stronger bond between the family. I realised that there are still a lot to be done to keep the family together. Alhamdulilah, at least I see a bit of improvement from both sides. Got to come up with more ideas to keep the family bonded like how it used to be back then. 3) Make new friends! And for the new year, I plan to make as many new friends I can as possible, just so I can broaden my circle of friends. It's not wrong of me right, no? So, I'll probably gonna have to be as cheerful as I used to be and start smilling more now! 4) Keep the true ones, throw away the rest. Which comes to my next point. I realised after that worst episode in my life that happened back in 2010, there are actually two kinds of friends that I have; One that really listens, and the other just curious to know about what's happening. I've even got friends who I thought they would be there for me where I needed them to, but unfortunately Nope. For a start, I'm gonna only care for the friends that have really stick with me throughout the lowest point of my life, and don't ever bother about the other 'friends' that I thought I had. So! If you happen to notice that we seldom keep in touch any longer, chances are, you belong to the latter. :) 5) fuck love for now. No, i don't need love now. Not looking for it either. I might probably have to eat my own words in the future, maybe maybe not. But one thing;s for sure, I will just let nature takes its course and follow the flow. 6) keep 'awaq' close to my heart. I won't deny it. she's still number one for me. Let's just see if I will still feel that way by the end of year 2011. Ohwell, I will just continue living my life the way I have been doing then. Gonna start a new countdown over in twitter, counting down the days until I get to hear news of her. So, tada! it's day 2 today, for the fact that something did happen yesterday, so yerp. Though we have ushered in the new year, I will still keep her close in my heart, smile and get on with life. So sorry fuckers, you thought I would back down and give up eventually, didnt you? hah. And oh, kamu? if you happen to be reading all this, please know that this is the reason why I reserved my 'i miss you, too', 'i love you, too' and whatevernots to only this girl right there. I'm truly sorry for the times you said,'i miss you, guyfriend' and all those sweet nothings, I would just laugh and shrug it off. I don't go around saying all these to each and every friends of mine, even if you do. Because to me, it's like something precious. It takes someone really special to hear all those mushy mushy stuff coming out from me. And I hope you will understand alright. NOpe, Im not looking to be in another relationship, yet. please refer back to point 3 okay. Im sorry, syai maseh sayang dier. 7) No more Mr nice guy. For a change, i'll no longer be the syai who bows down to everyone's needs. I'll be nice to you if you are. Others, wont matter anymore to me. and if anyone of you still choose to be a coward and tag me hurtful stuff again, I'll be more than happy to entertain your crap. Simply said, choose to be anononymous, formspring please. Tagboard, at least have the balls to put your name down. cowards. 8) passion, will always be. Truth be told,I have already decided to call it quits about continuing in this dikir scene altogether. Going for trainings and competitions has really been torturing, mentally and emotionally. But tok had to text me and brought up about the 'don't leave your brothers by themselves up there on stage.' and the 'your team still needs you.' shits that made me play for the previous competition. Precisely why my so called 'brothers' called me crap, merepek, 'jadi jantan jangan kelepeh!' and whatnots. Yes, i still love dikir barat, but whatever that has happened made me somewhat lose that enthusiasm in me. And I just don't know what im supposed to do now that i can't run away from the problems i'm facing. I will probably just carry on with the trips down to bedok and future competitions, but I dont think I will commit for this one particular competition, if ever there will be, in this upcoming months to come. So, we will see. I intend to coninue with this passion of mine at least, until NS. I will think about what comes next later. But for now, Im still in chuchus. 9) My blog, my say. Enough has been said. whatever that my bro,ikhlas have advised me does make sense after all. We don't live to please others. Haters makes me famous anyway. So, yeah. I will no longer think twice before writing my feelings down. I write whatever fuck that i want in here, from now onwards. Think it's too emo for you? get the fuck out of here please. Thank you, NOT! Basically, that's about it. And before I go off, I would like to say for the last time that I, as always, have already forgiven those cowards that posted on my tagboard. No worries, I wont take offence to it alright. But yeah, I hope you guys too, would forgive this mat right here for these middle fingers. I don't have enough for the whole lot of you. Sorry! Until the next post then friends. thanks to those who still views my blog eventhough I have been away for so long. I know who you are! Let's just see how the next 12 months of 2011 would be for syai then. It is going to be full of surprises, I swear. Woop woop! =) " syai was doing quite okay actually for those times I've been away. 7th of january, when I was just this close to finally say I'm completely over you, we had to meet face to face on that fucking 168. You, from RP open house and me, going for my fucking training. Impossible that you didnt notice me, cause I knew you were just sitting right behind me. And the reason why I had to fucking control my tears was because all the way throughout the journey, not even once did you look at me nor speak to me. We were that close to each other, yet you didnt. why? It's sad to see that you're treating syai no different than a complete stranger in that bus. While I was there seating covering up my fucked up face just so you would not see those fucking tears. but im cool with it. Seriously. cause at least syai feels that you have really moved on in life, and for once syai was able to see you in person. For once syai was able to hear your voice from behind. And that laughter of yours that syai freaking miss. it could have been our 8th today, takper lah, dah takde jodoh. Awaq, esok O-level result kan. All the best iyer. Jaga diri. " phew. I miss blogging. Time for facebook now! |
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