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Kane Nobuhiro
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Please Take Note.
 People don't keep journals for themselves. They keep them for other people, like a secret they don't want to tell, but they want everyone to know. I don't own any of these pictures unless I state them. All photos and quotes on this blog are the properties of the respectful owners.Anyone wishing for their works to be credited please contact me via formspring or the tagboard itself. thank you. |
posted on Thursday, December 9, 2010 @ 12:00 AM | back to the top.
for the last time.
For the last time...  For the last time... “I have always believed that when you love someone, you should love them forever. but i was wrong. nothing can last forever. & thats what you’ve taught me. You’ve taught me that feelings go away. Promises can be broken. & love isnt for everyone. When i met you, i thought that all of my past experiences would go away. But in the end, you brought them back & added more hurt to them. ive always thought that there is going to be that one girl who would prove to me that not all girls are the same. Well, I thought u were, but it didnt out to be. I so wanted to let you in on my secrets, but you became one of them instead. Love is a precious thing. & thats why its so hard to find. thats why its hard to find someone who can really understand love. when you’ve been hurt, you shut the doors to your heart & stop any form of care & love to go in. now, you’ve brought me every type of hurt imaginable. Maybe, just maybe we're both too young and we don't know what's real, but I know I've never wanted anything so bad. I have never wanted anyone so bad. I wish I had the guts to walk away & forget about what we had, but I can't because I know you won't come after me & that's what hurts the most. im just going to live my life as if i dont care. But i just want you to let you know that even though you have broken my heart. i still love you. " For the last time... I wish you could so badly see. I wish you could see the shit I went through for the past months and the emotions, the torments that I went through. The tears I cried, the nights I ruined for myself just knowing you were out with another guy. I have been badly bruised, been stepped on over and over again. I have been embarrassed by my own circle of ‘friends’, ‘strangers’, ‘anonymous people’, to be called a weakling, to see all of them give up on me. I'm not mad, I'm really not. I just wish you could know how much I cared. What all I would have done for you. What all I fucking still would do. I stay up late when I'm sad. I read quotes that remind me of you, listen to songs that fit our situation, scroll through my phone and see I'm all alone, all while tears are pouring down my face. Why do I do it? I could be sleeping and forgetting everything for eight whole hours, at least, but I don't. Why do i still choose to do it? All because I wanted 'them' to know just how pure my love is for you. Even when you have been saying ‘ I love you’s ‘ to someone else all these while. That, this kind of love, is totally different than the ones 'they' have ever felt for their entire life. But tonight, I will let go of that hope for your return in my life. I am physically and mentally exhausted of all this. I've come to a point where these feelings is just too much for me to handle. I want to be free of your hold but I just wish you could have known all that I have went through, just for you. And no matter what, no matter how hard it's going to be, no matter how long it takes... I will want to be happy again. I will smile, I will laugh, but I’m tired of crying. I refuse to continue crying for you anymore. I will not let you get to me any longer. I will not allow myself to feel this way anymore, I refuse to let you hurt me any further. I know you’ve moved on. And you have been giving me that idea that you want me to move on and forget the past relationship that we have shared. And I thought you should know, it hurts that I know I have to, but I can’t. But tonight, my hands are up; I give in. I will. To you. I apologise for all these write-ups about your girlfriend. I’m sorry for missing your girlfriend every single night. I’m sorry that I’d even have that hope that she will come back to me one day. Aku tahu aku tak sepatutnye ada perasaan ni rindu terhadap dier, pasal aku tahu dier milik kau sekarang. I come to realise that I’m not doing any one of us here any good to be stuck in the past. I don’t know if I have ever been the cause of problems between the two of you, I don’t really know. But if there was, I’m truly sorry. And I apologise once again, because even though I will move on now, but that does not mean I’ll stop loving her overnight. These things takes time, I hope you would understand but I promise you, I will try my fucking best. Lastly, I know I am in no position to tell you what to do. But I’m begging you, on account that we are in the same seni, which make it impossible for the three of us to avoid each other during future competitions, please take really really good care of her. And please... love her just as much as I have did, okay bro. To awaq. syai mintak maaf yer untuk segala-gala nye. Syai mintak maaf kerana syai tak ikut kehendak awak dari dulu. Awaq nak saye stop tulis pasal awaq, Awaq nak tengok saya macam dulu dulu tu, Awaq nak saye lupekan diri awaq, untuk kembali senyum. Mungkin, ni lah kesudahannye antara kiter. Syai mintak maaf kay, for the times syai made you sad, made you cry for my own insecurities back then. Syai nak awaq tahu jer, selame syai dengan awaq mase dulu dulu tuh, syai jujur dah ikhlas menyayangi awaq. syai berterime kaseh lah sangat sangat, kerana awaq sudi bagi syai peluang, untuk merasa ertinya cinta, dan untuk dicinta kembali. Hari ni, syai dah tak sayang awaq lagi, tapi itu tak bermaksud syai akan lupe diri awaq hari ini jugaq. Syai tetap akan kesah untuk awaq dari jauh, dan biler syai rindukan awaq, syai selalu dengar lagu yang awaq tengah dengar nih sekarang, sampai biler biler pun. Inilah satu satu, caranya untuk syai berpegang pada janji syai dengan Allah. Pasal syai akur, cinta tak mesti memiliki.. Awaq tetap number 1 untuk syai, sampailah harinya syai dah bertemu dengan pengganti awaq dalam hidup syai ini. Akhir kata dari syai, jaga diri baik baik tao. Nanti dah dapat tahu Olevel result, syai harap awaq dapat lah masuk poly luh yer. Ingat, awaq dah janji... kata nak buat mummy awaq proud kan. Syai akan tetap doa dan mintak dariNya, untuk kebahgian awaq, disamping orang orang yang awaq sayang. Okaylah, sampaikan salam syai pada mummy, abah, shasha okay. Bilang bibik, syai ucapkan terime kaseh untuk dulu dulu tu yer. Jumpe awaq di comp comp yang akan datang. For the last time... Here’s to the 15th of december. Finally plucked up enough courage to say hie to you over in facebook exactly 8 months ago. And here’s to the 23rd of december, our love story that ends exactly 3 months ago. And here's to the 9th of december, which is today. What could have been a happy 7th together. =) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gonna take one step back from reality, and just watch the world go by. Going to give myself enough time to fix this heart. Pray hard for me okay everyone. For now I will take a break from blogging and possibly from the facebook world too. I'll be back in another 1 month time. And I promise the day that I'm back, I will come back, happy. InsyaAllah Happy advance new year friends. may 2011 be a better one for all of us. Awaq? for the last time... I love you. =’) |
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