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Kane Nobuhiro
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 People don't keep journals for themselves. They keep them for other people, like a secret they don't want to tell, but they want everyone to know. I don't own any of these pictures unless I state them. All photos and quotes on this blog are the properties of the respectful owners.Anyone wishing for their works to be credited please contact me via formspring or the tagboard itself. thank you. |
posted on Monday, October 18, 2010 @ 5:32 PM | back to the top.
i've got a feeling..
Before I get started, I would like to thank you, sarah for visiting my blog and tagging them. I realised that from whatever that you have wrote down, I can see that there are some things which maybe you don’t really get it. So I shall point that out. This is what YOU wrote to me. “yeah. she messed up your life. but you should jolly well face the music and deal with it and stop blaming others. she never asked u to be the way u are now. u chose to be emo. you chose to be sad. so that's your problem. so dont go around blaming others. u have only urself to blame to lead a sad life like this. face it. its not the end of the world yo. you dont ditch your social life because of a girl. only losers do that. seriously. till then. someone has got to slap you in the face so that you can wake up from all this. “ Wow. Haha. Honestly, I was taken aback when I read that. Hmmm, ohkay. Well, I shall be open about this since I think that you have misunderstood the whole situation here. Yes, I don’t deny the fact, that I blame her for how miserable my life is now. Well, that’s the truth aint it? The only girl that I loved so much just had to leave me. I am still here picking up the broken pieces of my heart, and there she is seemingly happy with how things are right now. Simply put, the main cause of the breakup was because of trust issues. And yes, I admit that It was difficult for me to trust her. But do YOU ever stop to think why or what actually happened that caused me to lose that trust in her, which eventually led to the break up? Ikutkan hati, I can write down the whole situation, from A – Z, what actually happened, just so YOU or anyone that happens to be reading this will be able to judge who is right, or who is wrong here. But, Whatever for? Why should I tell the world what actually happened between the two of us? Will it make me any less sad than I already am? Will it even make her come back to me? NO, and NO. But, if YOU are really interested, then I’ll be glad to meet u up over a cup of coffee , just so you will know the full story. But not here alright. Not when we’re talking about someone’s dignity over here. “you chose to be emo, you chose to be sad, so that’s your problem. So don’t go around blaming others..” Well sarah, how’d do YOU expect me to feel then, when someone whom you thought was the One for you, actually dumped you? Overjoyed? Excited? A sense of relief now that I’m back to singlehood? Of course I am feeling sad, but I am sad not because I know, that she and I are no longer together, but I am sad because of the things that she has done behind my back and all. I have heard so so many stories, opinions and all that you can think of about her, and what she has did behind my back. These will always remain as a question mark in my head, up till today. But it’s back to the same thing then. Would it change anything even if I bare all of this right here, right now? No. Which then leads me to your comment. Yeah, even if I really choose to ditch my social life because of her, even if I really am going to stop my passion because of her, even if I am going to continue my emo posts here in my blog, what rights do YOU have to call me a loser? I am somehow offended by that comment made because it seems clear to me that its either you have never fallen in love and got your heart broken before, or you just don’t understand my situation. Aku sedih, orang cakap loser. Nak gembira, buat buat pun takda guna. In anyway, please do know that I am not angry or whatsoever by your comment. Since I more or less have answered to YOU, can YOU now do me a favour and answer me a question that I have in my mind now? I have been contacting all the Sarah’s that I have in my contact list, but none has said that she is the Sarah that wrote this. SO, I hope you could tell me who you are, be it through here, fb or anything. Just so I will know who you are. Because honestly, if you happen to be my friend, (which I don’t think so, but there is still a possibility that it is) I would appreciate it if you could have told me your honest opinions straight to my face. What im tryna say is that if you’re really my friend and you’re sincere in wanting me to wake up and snap back to reality, you won’t have to resort to hiding behind that laptop and then typing all that to me. Tegur pun biar ade care yer. I don’t really understand why you can get so affected by my post when its not even being directed at anyone in particular that you had to tag my blog, unless.... I really hope to hear from whoever-you-are, soon . I will be waiting. Have a nice day. "It has never been my intention to condemn you for our mistakes, to make you look bad in this situation. Neither do i fault you for the break up. You might or might not be bothered to read my blog anymore, but if you happen to drop by, just know that I hope whatever that is happening right now won’t make matters between us much more worse than it already is. I’m doing fine over here. Taking small baby steps to get my life back on track. I don’t hope for us being friends either, cause I don’t want to start back from zero again. It took me this long to accept the reality, and I’m slowly moving on. And that is exactly why, I just don’t want to bump into you again. Definitely not now, but I really hope when the day comes when we DO cross each other’s path again, I would really have completely gotten over you. And that’ll be the day we’ll be friends. Insyallah. I’ll still pray that you’ll clear your national exams though, remember your promise to make mummy proud of you. That’s the least I can do for you now. Take care." |
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