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Kane Nobuhiro
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Please Take Note.
 People don't keep journals for themselves. They keep them for other people, like a secret they don't want to tell, but they want everyone to know. I don't own any of these pictures unless I state them. All photos and quotes on this blog are the properties of the respectful owners.Anyone wishing for their works to be credited please contact me via formspring or the tagboard itself. thank you. |
posted on Wednesday, September 1, 2010 @ 1:44 PM | back to the top.
who am i?
I do not know why, but I feel somewhat upset whenever I look at your facebook profile. I really did not expect that coming from you, saying that you wanted to reactivate your Facebook account back. Giving me all sorts of reasons. But you never realised this; It was because of that facebook incident the other day that almost caused us to separate.The other day, you were willing to delete your facebook account, because you could not afford to let go of our relationship. you valued US much more than other stuffs, so ive gotta say I was really happy and was quite assured that you really mean it this time. Who would be willing to delete his/her own Fb account just because of a relationship, you tell me? So in a way, i knew she deserved a second chance to gain my trust back. She even declined to do up another Fb account, even when I told her to; she insisted on having a shared account. I was slowly gaining my trust on her. But fast forward to today, things changed. She wanted her own Facebook account back, citing reasons like she needs her 'own personal space'. For every reasons she gave me, I rebutted her back with solutions to it, I even went on to say she could use the existinng Fb account all to herself, just so that she would not reactivate her old one. But she was adamant on having her own FB account. She even went on to say that she deleted her Fb the last time round was to 'fucking jage hati you, thats why'. Wow. Look here. I am not writing all this down, to shoot the girl that I love. Never has it been that way. The reason to it is actually because... I need to write down how im feeling right now here on my own blog. I can go crazy if I dont do anything about it. Maybe you people thinks the way she do, " just let her be", "give her space that she craves", "Just let her do up her own Facebook account for god's sake . Yes, precisely. I feel that way, too. But you see, I cannot just find it within me to allow this to happen, not when the situation for us is vey tense now. And the thing is, I just do not want that incident to happen again. It did happen once, whose to say it will never happen, now that she has her own facebook account? If she could have gave me reasonable reasons, maybe we could have come to a solution to it. but.. After openning up to Arep, I somehow more or less has already decided. If 'personal space' is what she really wants, then that is exactly what I'm going to give her. But I just do not know what does she mean by that 'personal space' that she craves for. does it include not texting, not calling, not meeting up, or anything that has got to do with me? I don't know, seriously. All i know is, If I still mean something to her, she will find a way to look for me, but as for now, I will be away from her life. She wants to reactivate her own Facebook account back? By all means, go ahead. I will try to distract myself from all those negative thoughts that I have. To you. I am sacrificing myself for your wants and needs. I hope you're matured enough to know that this "reactivating Facebook account" thingy is not the main issue as to why Im so against it. Like how i have been advised, Let time shows everything. I dont even know what am I to you now. But I'd hoped you would see that Im swallowing my own ego, my own feelings, to apologise to you and to work things out with you. If this is really the end, be open about it. I can only wait and see whether I still mean anything to you or not. FOr the mean time, enjoy your facebook, and enjoy your freedom. LOve you. That's it for today. need to hit the books now, hopefully it'll get into my head. bye. |
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